Thank you Moses. I'll take numbers 1, 4, and 9 please.

One of the biggest problems that I have with organized religion is it seems that the more religious people are the less they tend to live up to Christian ideals.   "Love they neighbor" only seems to count if that neighbor is exactly like them and lives the way that they want them to live.   Catholic priests are protected by the church while raping young boys but homosexuality is a sin in the eyes of the church.  It's just a whole big bunch of hypocrisy.   Luckily Christians have given themselves an out as long as they have time to repent before they die.  "Oh look....I can be a bigot and a sinner and manipulate the bible to fit how I want to live my life and as long as I say 'oops, sorry....my bad' before I kick the bucket I'm a-ok."  Sorry but that's a bunch of bull to me.

But I digress....

CNN has just released a study that churchgoers are more likely to condone torture while those unaffiliated with a religion are less likely to approve.   

Nice, real nice.

Am I missing something?

Everything in the news these days is about the swine flu.  Everyone is in quite the uproar over the possibility of this pandemic and running around thinking the world is going to come to an end and all of North America is going to be wiped off the map.  Am I missing something?  I don't understand the concern.  Every flu season 36,000 people die from the every day, typical, "traditional" flu.  So far less than 200 people have died from the swine flu.  On top of that, it's curable.  It's not like mad cow disease where once you have it you're fucked.  Scientists have identified the strain and it can be treated if people go to the doctor in time.  Is it just because we didn't anticipate this and therefore people are all freaked out?  Is it just because people don't realize that thousands of people die from the flu each year?  Is it because there is nothing else exciting to report on these days on all those 24 hour news channels?  I realize that it's typically older people that die from the traditional flu whereas this is hitting people more in the young to middle age range but couldn't that be because people in those age groups think "oh, I just have the flu, I'll stay home and rest and I'll get better" and therefore they aren't going to the doctor like they should?  Most of these deaths have been in Mexico and as far as I know there has only been that one 23-month old toddler that died in the U.S. so far.  Couldn't that be because Mexico is still considered a developing country.  I've only been to Tijuana and that was about 20 years ago so I don't have a lot to base it on but I'm guessing they probably don't have the same accessibility, availability, and attitude toward health care as we do in the United States.

This reminds me a lot of when SARS was a big story.  That was another "Oh my God the world is going to end and Asia will be wiped off the map" story and then it just disappeared from the news cycle when the next big thing came along.

Like I said, am I missing something?

Happy Anniversary

One year ago today I started this blog. I've actually had a lot of fun doing it and I think it will be a great thing to save for my kids when they get older. My friend Cyndi introduced me to a website that will print a book of your blog postings so I plan on doing that sometime soon. I figure I'll do one every calendar year and print two copies so that each kid can have one as a memento of their childhood. I only wish I had started it earlier in their lives.

Our little artist

I can't draw anything. I mean anything....not even stick figures come out looking like they're supposed to. Lincoln is a fairly talented artist though and apparently Hannah inherited his skills. Here are a couple of her drawings that she did the other day. These were done freehand and not traced from a book.

Introducing Cooper

My sister and her husband just got a new puppy. Isn't he adorable?

Little League Season is here again

Tonight is Hannah's first Little League practice of the season. She is the only girl on the team again. Technically there was one other girl on the team last year but she rarely ever participated so it didn't really count. I'm really bummed that I'm missing practice tonight but I've been out of work way too much lately between our trip to Niagara Falls, being sick last week, and my surgery earlier this week. She is really excited to play again this year although now she has moved up a division so I'm wondering if she realizes that game play may be a bit more intense this year. It will be interesting to watch.

All clear

Lincoln got the all clear from his dermatologist today. I guess the doctor said that he could see where the primary physician might have thought the mole(s) looked suspicious but once viewed under a microscope they look fine.

Whewww......one down, one more to go. I get my results on Tuesday.

Nooks and Crannies

Today is Lincoln's appointment with the dermatologist to check out his "suspicious looking mole".

Me: Call me as soon as the appointment is over.

Link: I will.

Me: Make sure he checks every nook and cranny over.

Link: Ohhh......can't he just leave the crannies alone?

Who needs waterboarding?

Here is a new torture technique: Perform minor oral surgery on a person and then distract them while they're eating their first "real" food (mac 'n cheese) so they forget about only chewing on one side of their mouth therefore causing them to come down hard on a noodle right on top of their stitches.

I'm not sure who felt it more.....me or Lincoln when I grabbed his wrist and squeezed as hard as I could to keep from screaming.

Mother Nature needs a snooze button

The weather has been so nice lately that we've been able to sleep with the windows open. Each morning we wake up to the birds chirping, the rooster up the street crowing, and a woodpecker somewhere off in the woods. That's not necessarily fun but it hasn't been too bad although the woodpecker definitely does a good job of not letting us fall back asleep. This morning, however, was a different story. There was some sort of bird outside of our window at 5 a.m. this morning that was very, very loud. And no matter what window we closed it sounded like it was right outside the ones that were still open.

I don't know if he was looking for his mate, his parents, or his children but eventually he found all of them and then they had quite the little party. Not a fun way to start the day.

After we closed all the windows I managed to fall back asleep again but woke up from a very disturbing dream with a sore jaw. I dreamt I was standing in a hotel restaurant (standing, not sitting) and eating every possible food that I can't eat right now because of my mouth.....steak, chicken, potato chips, etc. I woke up from that and went downstairs for my bowl of ice cream for breakfast. I've got soup for lunch and hopefully some pasta for dinner and then back to more regular food tomorrow although I still have to stay away from anything crunchy or crusty for about a week.

Damn my mouth hurts

Doctor removed the lesion. Results back next Tuesday which is also when they'll take out the stitches. Mouth hurts. Looking forward to 24 hours of ice cream and then 24 hours of pasta.

We totally picked the wrong weekend to go to Niagara Falls

Apparently we missed Brad Pitt by one weekend. Brad and his two older boys, Maddox and Pax, were in Niagara Falls this weekend. Bummer.

I'm scared

Today is the day that I have the "raised white lesion" removed from my mouth. I have to say, I'm less scared of what the lab might say it is than the actual procedure this afternoon. I'm really dreading that. Even though it sounds like a quick procedure it sounds gruesome. I can only hope they give me really good drugs afterwards.

A very productive day

Today has been pretty productive. Not only is the weather nice and therefore we can get some yard work done, but I've also been plugging away at the house. Mom and Dad are coming to visit in a week and a half and I want the house to look nice when they come. Usually I don't put too much effort into prepping for their arrival because Mom always cleans my house while she's here anyway (thanks Mom!) but we did so much re-arranging and re-decorating over the holiday break that I want to make sure the house looks nice when they get here. Unfortunately I won't be able to do much cleaning next weekend right before their arrival so I have to get it all done this weekend.

Next weekend is going to be a CRAZY busy weekend. Not only is it the weekend of the Kentucky Derby (on Saturday), and the infamous Derby party with the Walkers, but it's also the beginning of Hannah's little league season, with both practice and team pictures (on Sunday). It's also the annual Loyalty Day parade. That and a million other things are going on that weekend. Like I said, there will be NO time for cleaning the house.

Change is not always a good thing

Lincoln grew up here in town and remembers what it used to be like before all of the developers came in and took down all the trees to put up matching houses. Today Hannah was going to a birthday party and we had to look up the address.

Me: The house is on Reservoir Lane. Do you know where that is?

Link: No. There were no "lanes" when I was growing up.

(showing it to Lincoln on google maps)

Link (noticing there is no nearby water shown on google maps): So where is the reservoir?

Me: They obviosly filled it in to put up the houses.

Spring is finally here (hopefully to stay)

Today and tomorrow it is going to be 80 degrees here in Boston. Today there isn't a cloud in the sky. It makes it a good day for working outside which means cleaning up our yard so that it doesn't look so tacky. I told Lincoln that we either need to clean up the yard or fully commit and put a car up on blocks to complete the look.

This is what happens when I read "real" books

I read trash novels. Yes, bodice rippers. The kind of books where Fabio is occasionally on the cover with a 1/2 dressed woman. I enjoy them. They are light and fun entertainment where I don't have to think and don't finish the book pondering (or debating) the literary value of what I've just read. They're trash....pure and simple....and I love them.

Every day at 2 p.m. I go up to the 3rd floor and cover the phones while my assistant (the receptionist) takes her lunch break. She often laughs at the books I'm reading but I'm perfectly okay with that. Earlier this week, however, I brought up Rhett Butler's People to which she commented "Wow, you're reading a real book, huh?"

I loved Gone With the Wind. It's a great book. I also thoroughly enjoyed Scarlett which was written as a sequel to Gone With the Wind. I'm pretty sure it wasn't an authorized sequel but it was still a good book. It started where Gone With the Wind left off and went on an epic journey of its own where Scarlett moved to Ireland, the land of her father's birth, and after many trials and tribulations reunited with Rhett to live happily ever after. It's no Gone With the Wind but it was still a pretty good book.

Shortly before Christmas 2007 the book Rhett Butler's People came out and I really wanted it. Lincoln bought it for me in hardcover and I was quite excited to read it. Um.....yeah.....I just finally read it in April 2009. I started it back in early 2008 but just couldn't get into it. That didn't discourage me though since even Gone With the Wind took me a few tries. It was a daunting book after all.....at the time (and maybe still to this date) it was the longest book I had ever attempted at over 1,000 pages. When we left for Niagara Falls this past weekend I only packed one romance novel and one magazine.....certainly not enough to get me through one weekend especially with long car rides on either end of the journey. I decided that instead of packing other books I would pack Rhett Butler's People and force myself to read it while driving back from Niagara Falls.

It was good. It wasn't great. And this is why I don't like reading "real" books. It actually made me think, evaluate, and debate in my head. I don't have the time or the energy for that these days. First of all, it billed itself as being the story of Gone With the Wind from the viewpoint of Rhett Butler. That wasn't entirely true. I guess the first clue should have been the title but it really was the story of Rhett Butler's people. I think in an attempt to make it an "epic" story like Gone With the Wind it had to pull in the stories of every person who ever touched Rhett's life. I think the book was well written and I enjoyed the way the author layered the story from different perspectives and flashed back and forth through the timeline but the author also glossed over many of the major interactions that Rhett and Scarlett had throughout Gone With the Wind. He never mentions the ball where Rhett reappears and asks Scarlett to dance with him even though she is in mourning. He glosses over the death of their daughter and doesn't even touch on the fact that Scarlett miscarried their second child. The author also turns one of the most dashing and heroic figures in literature into a sniveling, "woe is me" man suffering from unrequited love.

While the book does explain a little of the back story regarding how Rhett knows Belle Watling and how he became great friends with many slaves prior to the Civil War, it's really less of a book about him and more of a book about everyone around him.

And since Rhett Butler's People completely ignores the existence of the book Scarlett the ending is completely different. While the author does make an attempt at showing a bit of the "old" Scarlett (read: Margaret Mitchell's version) when she is facing, in my opinion, greatly contrived issues at Tara after the war, it is not fully explored but merely used as an excuse (SPOILER ALERT) to kill off beloved characters and burn down Tara before getting Scarlett and Rhett back together in roughly a page and a half.

I have read both Gone With the Wind and Scarlett multiple times each and now that I've finished Rhett Butler's People I plan to go back and read both of them again, but I have to say....Rhett Butler's People is going straight into the garage sale pile. Maybe it's because both Gone With the Wind and Scarlett were written by women that I enjoyed the epic love stories found in both books, as opposed to the male author of Rhett Butler's People who created merely a great epic story of the Civil War that names familiar characters. Either way, I've obviously learned my lesson for awhile that I need to stick with my trash novels because obviously "real" books just get me too worked up. If I wanted that I'd debate the merits of Gossip Girl vs. the original version of Beverly Hills 90210.

P.S. Here is a good review about everything that is wrong with this book: http://www.amazon.com/review/RQX5Y5I1CLA5E/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

The girl that cried "Ow!"

As I have documented many times in this blog, Hannah will cry over a paper cut as though she has a broken bone while Jake will cut his head open and like it is a paper cut. Needless to say, we tend to ignore Hannah's "injuries" a little bit more.

Tonight the two kids were rough-housing in the living room when the two of them butted heads. Hannah immediately sent up a "I'm going to die" cry while Jake merely slapped his hand to his forehead and calmly said "I'm hurt too." Lincoln got Jake and I swooped in to help Hannah. I patted her on the back, asked Lincoln to get her some ice, and in my usual "Mother of the Year" fashion told her to "suck it up".

After wiping away her runny nose and finally getting her settled down I noticed that Jake actually did quite a number on her. All along her right eyebrow there was quite a nice little bruise forming.

Like I said, I'm currently working on filling out my "Mother of the Year" application. I don't think I'm going to get it though since obviously I've failed in my parenting duties by not reading her the story of "The Boy that Cried Wolf".

Sick days

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling fine and within the hour I was sick as a dog. I have no idea what sort of bug I have but it hasn't been fun. I stayed home from work yesterday and went in for about 2 hours today to just deal with the absolute minimum that had to be dealt with. Now I'm in bed with a fantastic new website that my friend Jen introduced me to today. I am both entertained and horrified by today's youths. http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Niagara Falls - A Photo Essay

Here are some pictures from our trip to Niagara Falls. I will try to post some video tomorrow.

Hannah and Jake with the American Falls in the background. Taken inside the Sky Wheel.

Hannah and Jake at the Mini Golf on Clifton Hill.

Hannah and Jake looking at Niagara Falls.

Nighttime at the Falls as viewed from our hotel room.

The view from our hotel window.

Lincoln at the Butterfly Conservatory.

Lincoln at the Butterfly Conservatory.

A (partially) sunny morning overlooking the Falls from our hotel room.

At the top of the Falls.

At the top of the Falls.

At the top of the Falls.

Lincoln hamming it up on the Fun House bridge.

Lincoln hamming it up on the Fun House boat.

Home again

We made it home from Niagara Falls last night at about 10:30 p.m. It was a long day but a really fun one. When we woke up in the morning the sun was actually shining. We went down to breakfast and then came back to the hotel room and changed into swimsuits. Our usual hotel routine when we travel is Lincoln takes the kids down to the pool while I pack up the room and get us organized. Since I was watching the news while I packed I knew the sun wouldn't last all day and that more rain was coming in that afternoon. I headed down to the pool at about 10 a.m. and told Lincoln we should get ready to head out. We got the kids back up to the room and the three of them showered and dressed before we headed out.

After checking out of the room at about 11:00 a.m. we finally made it down to the waterfall. We had been able to see Niagara Falls pretty much the entire time we were there. Our hotel room and most of the restaurants that we ate at overlooked the Falls but we had never actually gotten down there until yesterday morning. Every time we tried to go down to the Falls we were thwarted. There was a hillside tram right in front of our hotel that would have taken us down to the Falls but every time we walked over to it the tram was closed for the day. We tried walking down there ourselves but realized that in order to get down there it would be a very, very long walk and even if we made it down we'd probably never make it back up without both kids crapping out on us. We then tried to drive down there on Monday afternoon but the only parking lot that was open was WAY down the road and we'd have to pay $14 and still walk quite a distance in the rain. After we checked out of the hotel on Tuesday morning we finally found a conveniently located parking lot that only charged $13 (it would have cost us $12 to ride the tram round trip) so we finally were able to get out and walk around down by the Falls. Niagara Falls is absolutely beautiful from any view but when you're actually standing at the top of it and watching the water as it goes over the edge and listening to the roar it's really amazing to feel the power of the Falls.

After going to the Falls we headed over to the Rain Forest Cafe for lunch. The Rain Forest Cafe is a pretty cool restaurant but it can be kind of scary for kids. Jake was quite freaked out at the beginning because the gorilla that was very near our table kept moving his head at random times. Jake thought it was alive and was watching him. In addition to the moving head the gorillas came to "life" every 12-15 minutes as did the elephants further down the wall. On top of that there was a "thunderstorm" with lightening and thunder that went off every 22 minutes. Eventually he warmed up to the place but it was a little touch and go there for awhile.

When we came out of the Rain Forest Cafe we headed over to the Fun House which was something Hannah had seen in a brochure. I think it may have actually been my favorite thing we did other than seeing the Falls itself. It was a cheesy little set up with about 5 or 6 rooms but you could go through as many times as you wanted. There was a room of fun house mirrors and a room where you could throw giant balls at each other. There was another room built on a steep slope that made you feel like you were on a ship and another with a big net in it where the kids pretended they were spiders. There was a dark hallway where you had to walk through punching bags and you could push them into people and little 1/2 doorways that required you to get down really low to get through to the next room. Like I said, it was a TON of fun and we all had a great time. Lincoln, in particular, was really hamming it up and I have some great pictures of him. The kids were too excited to hold still for me but Lincoln was a total goof ball.

After the fun house we all piled into the car and headed towards home. I have to say, it's a lot harder to get into the U.S., even with U.S. passports, than it is to get into Canada with a U.S. passport. When we entered Canada they pretty much asked us where we were going, where we were staying, how long we'd be there, and did we have any alcohol in the car. To get back into the U.S., however, we had to answer where we were coming from, where had we stayed, how long had we been in the country, did we have any alcohol, citrus, or food in the car, what was in our cooler, what did Lincoln do for a living, what did I do for a living, what company did I work for, what was our license plate number, and whose name the car was registered in. Despite the 50 million questions they ended up letting us back into the country.

The drive home was fairly uneventful. Jake and I napped for a little while. We had movies playing on the DVD player and even when they weren't watching movies or sleeping the kids did pretty good. Jake played by himself and was MUCH better behaved than on the trip out. We stopped for dinner in Albany, NY and then started out on the final stretch. Jake and Hannah both fell asleep but Jake woke up screaming with about 30 minutes left in the trip that "his legs were shaking". I think his muscles were just giving him trouble from having been in the car for so long. We didn't pull over because it was dark and we were on I-90 in the rain and fog but Hannah did a great job of getting him settled down in the back seat by giving him some of her stuffed animals to cuddle with. He eventually fell back to sleep about 5 minutes from our house. We got home about 10:30 p.m. and had the car unloaded and the kids in bed by 11:00 p.m.

All in all it was a great trip and a great warm-up for our drive to Iowa in July. I definitely have some ideas for how we can keep Jake entertained on the long ride there and back. And no, they currently don't involve duct tape.

I would have preferred the beer

Today at lunch Hannah ordered iced tea with lemon. It's not something she orders often but she does like it. Iced tea is a huge deal in the South and when we lived in Arkansas it seemed like everyone drank it although I never acquired a taste for it. When Hannah ordered the iced tea today it made me think of a funny story from when we flew down to Arkansas for my friend Stephanie's wedding.

We flew down to Arkansas the day before the wedding (without the kids) and arrived in time to head over to the rehearsal dinner. We were a few minutes late and most of the people were already there. When we walked into the room I looked at all the tables that were set up for dinner and I thought to myself "This is my kind of party....all the place settings already have a glass of beer at them." Then I realized it was iced tea in every glass. Talk about a let down.

Niagara Falls Day 2

This morning we got up and headed down to breakfast. The buffet was really nice and once we finished up down there we headed down to the pool. The kids had a great time and made a few new friends. After swimming we headed up to the room to shower and head out for the day. Unfortunately today was a miserable, nasty, cold day with lots of wind, rain, and even a (very) little snow. Hannah wanted to hit up the Butterfly Conservatory so we headed in that direction. Jake fell asleep in the car so we continued on past the Butterfly Conservatory to Niagara on the Lake which is a little town about 15 miles from here. Despite a bunch of cute little quaint restaurants we found a fantastic little hole in the wall sports bar which had great food.

After lunch we headed to the Butterfly Conservatory. It wasn't very big but it was pretty awesome. It's entirely enclosed in glass and there are hundreds (if not thousands) of butterflies in there. They fly all around you and sometimes will even land on you. I had one land on Hannah's coat that I was carrying and Lincoln had one land on his arm. I have some great pictures but unfortunately forgot to bring the card reader. I'll try and get them up later this week.

After the butterfly place we headed back for the IMAX movie. It was okay. It was about the "Myths, Miracles, and Magic" of Niagara Falls. I probably wouldn't have paid to see it but since it was free it wasn't too bad. It was interesting and luckily not too long (about 40 minutes) so the kids didn't have too much trouble sitting through it. I think they actually might have found it a bit interesting.

After that we headed back to the hotel where we used our $75 voucher for dinner. You may think that sounds like a lot but not in that restaurant. The food is ridiculously expensive although it was very good.

The kids are now watching their free movie and Lincoln and I chilling in the other room. It was a great day, despite the rain, and we've had a very nice trip. The drive home tomorrow will be interesting but we hope to tire the kids out with a little swimming and a "fun house" here in town so hopefully they'll nap at least a good chunk of the way. If not we'll be stopping to get some of that duct tape for Jake's mouth. (just kidding....I think).

Raising our own selves

Jake: What did Mommy look like as a little kid?

Me: Like Hannah. Only less cute.

Jake: What did Daddy look like as a little kid?

Link: Like you. Only less hairy.

Room 907

Yesterday when we were heading back to our room we had to pass Room 907. There was some serious yelling and screaming and cussing going on. It didn't sound violent but I did end up calling down to the front desk and telling them they may want to send security up. We thought that would be the end of our dealings with Room 907 but unfortunately it wasn't. At 1:42 a.m. this morning the front desk called up to our room. The front desk clerk apologized but said the caller said it was an emergency. It ended up being a friend of the people in Room 907 (the had incorrectly connected it to us in 905) and the caller said she was stranded at the airport in Buffalo, NY. When I explained she had the wrong room she asked me if I was willing to walk down to 907 and wake them up to come get her.

Um.....that would be "Hell no".

The drive to Niagara Falls / Day 1

We got off to a very early start on Sunday morning when we headed out to Niagara Falls. After carefully watching the weather all week I realized that Sunday was going to be our only day without rain so we needed to get there in plenty of time to do all of our outdoor stuff. We aimed for 6:00 a.m. and for once actually left before our scheduled departure time. We pulled out of our driveway at about 5:50 a.m. It's roughly a six hour drive but of course we had to stop multiple times for gas and food so it really ended up being more like 8 1/2 hours.

We drove about an hour before stopping in Western Mass for breakfast at Denny's. The service was quick and we were back on the road in under 30 minutes. We then stopped for lunch a few hours later in New York. We were incredibly happy to find an Arby's since Lincoln and I both love it but we don't really have them around us. We had no trouble getting over the Canadian border and we were at our hotel shortly after 2:30 p.m.

Part of our reasoning (read: justification) for taking this trip was as a "warm-up" for our drive to Iowa this July. The last (and only) time we drove to Iowa was two summers ago and the kids did great. Jake would have been two then. I think we're discovering that four is going to be a whole lot harder. First of all, he's harder to keep entertained. Second of all, he can't sit still. Third of all, THE KID NEVER SHUTS UP!!!!!!!!!! Man alive is he a talker. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. About NOTHING. And if he's not talking, which would be never, he's humming, clucking, singing, laughing, or making some other random noise with his mouth. (Yes, I did say clucking.) It definitely has given us insight into what we're going to need to do in order to survive the long drive to Iowa. Duct tape is the first thing that comes to mind. Drugging him is number 2. Maxing out our credit cards in order to fly is next in line.

We all managed to survive and arrived at our hotel in one piece. We are staying at the Marriott Fallsview and booked the Kids Love Niagara Falls package. It comes with two nights, a $75 voucher for dinner in the hotel restaurant, free breakfast each morning, four tickets to an IMAX movie about Niagara Falls, four tickets to the Sky Wheel, and 20 arcade tokens all for $400. We had originally booked a room with two queen beds and a fireplace which would have put us somewhere on floors 21-23. When we checked in though they told us there was a leak on the upper floors and that the water would be shut off on Monday from 12 noon to 5 p.m. We could choose to stay up there or they would put us in a suite on a lower floor. Both rooms have great views of the Falls. We ended up with a suite on the 9th floor and it has definitely been a better deal. While the fireplace would have been nice we now have a living room with french doors that close. Last night while the kids slept in the bedroom Lincoln and I watched TV in the living room. Right now I'm typing away while Lincoln reads on the bed and the kids are watching a movie in the living room. Oh yeah, that was the other thing that came with the room.....a free movie, popcorn, and gummy bears.

After we got checked in yesterday we headed over to the Sky Wheel. It's a large ferris wheel on steroids with climate controlled, entirely enclosed gondolas with a great view of the Falls. After that we did a little shopping and played some mini-golf. After a little more strolling around and shopping we headed back for dinner. We ate at The Keg on the 9th floor of the neighboring hotel and had a wonderful dinner overlooking the Falls.

It was a wonderful first day.

And we're off! (again)

Tomorrow morning we are leaving to drive to Niagara Falls for a few days. We're going over to the Canadian side which is MUCH nicer than the American side. The first trip that Lincoln and I ever took together was to Niagara Falls and that was almost 10 years ago. That trip involved a bright red heart-shaped jacuzzi tub and this one involves a "Kids Love Niagara" family package. What a difference 10 years makes.

As I was packing for the trip tonight it made me laugh at how much I think in terms of air travel. I am so used to packing efficiently and with the thought of current airline security requirements. I carefully rolled all of our clothes so that Hannah and Jake can share one small suitcase and Lincoln and I share a slightly bigger one. I immediately started digging out shampoo and conditioner in little bottles no bigger than a few ounces. Then it occurred to me....we're driving. I don't have to pack like that. I can pack however I want. If I want to throw random last minute items in the back of the car I can. I can bring pillows and blankets. The kids can bring toys and games. As a matter of fact I need them to bring toys and games. It's a 6-hour car ride and that doesn't include however long it will take us to cross the border. It is such a liberating feeling to be able to pack that way.

This trip is a little "warm-up" for our trip to Iowa this summer. This one is six hours in each direction whereas when we go to Iowa we'll be doing 13 hours a day in the car for two days going out and three days coming back (we're coming back from Minnesota instead of Iowa which gives us that extra 10-hour day.)

We are taking Lincoln's laptop with us but I don't know if we'll have Internet in the room. I noticed something on the website about there being free Internet access in the lobby so I would guess they might not have it in the rooms. I'm sure I'll have lots of pictures to post when we get back although the weather isn't supposed to be too great. Hopefully we can get all the outdoorsy stuff done on the one day that it isn't going to rain and do all the indoor stuff the other two days. Wish us luck!

You can also wish us luck using the kids' passports. They've never used their passports and Hannah's picture was taken when she was 3 1/2, which isn't too bad, but Jake's was taken when he was 2 months old. Needless to say it doesn't look anything like him.

Meineke sucks

I just went to pick up my car from Meineke. The first words out of the guy's mouth when I walked in were "They're still pulsating." He then said that if I wanted they could take the front rotors back off.

Me: Did I need new rotors?

Him: You told us you did. We did what you told us to do.

Me: But did I need them or did you just put them on for no reason?

Him: You told us you needed them.

Lincoln and I then insisted that I take it for a test drive before paying.

The car was FINE. The problem that I was having was gone. Before when I was braking my entire car would shake. It was really bad. Now it's fine. So then I went back in to tell him that.

Me: The car is fine.

Him: Really?

Me: Yes. And if it gets worse I'll take it to a professional next time.

And to top it ALL off, they ran my tank of gas down to empty. I had just shy of a 1/4 of a tank of gas when I dropped it off and when I got back it was in the orange area and the gas light was on. What a bunch of jackasses.

Why do mechanics always try to screw you over?

I know that people always tell you to never take your car to the dealership to be worked on but I have to say, I love dealing with Saturn provided I get to deal with Ellen. She works at the Saturn of Norwood and she is fantastic. The other guys there can be real jerks but she is great. I actually have it in my service record that she is the only one that can call me about my car. Whenever I go to Saturn she calls me with a quote and they either come in exactly at the estimate or under....usually under. Only twice have I ever taken my car somewhere else. The first time it was a local mechanic here in Upton who raised the estimate three times, charged me twice what Saturn does for the same work, and managed to deprogram my sunroof while he was working on my wheel bearings. Obviously I'm never going back there.

This week I need to get new brakes. We're leaving for Niagara Falls tomorrow and we definitely didn't want to head out before getting them fixed. As much as I love Saturn it is not very conveniently located and I wasn't able to get in for them to fix my brakes before we left so I had to head down to Meineke today. Before I did I called and talked to Ellen. After looking at my service record she said "Do NOT let them sell you new back brakes. You don't need them fixed." The problems with my brakes have been that they've been pulsating in the front whenever I brake. Meineke just called me and said that they think they're pulsating in the back and I need new back ones. I told them "no thanks, just the front ones will be fine" and then he told me that yes, I do need new rotors on the front ones. I know that if I hadn't talked to Ellen I'm sure I would have bought new rear brakes as well. Why do they always try to screw you over? I am going to make sure that both Hannah and Jake take auto shop in high school so that they at least know the very basics of car maintenance.

I am a horrible, horrible friend

Stephanie, I am SO sorry I missed your birthday. My only excuse is that it was the final day that I was working on the yearbook. I know you vividly remember me yelling at Ricky in the auditorium at Jacksonville High School about our high school yearbook when I was Editor. As a matter of fact neither of you will ever let me forget it. I can only say that cleary I am still very single-minded when it comes to yearbook.

Please forgive me. I hope it was a good one.

My college mascot is better than your college mascot

I went to a four year liberal arts college in Minnesota. Lincoln went to a 2-year community college here in Massachusetts. I think he regrets it and wishes he had gone to a 4-year college but I'm certainly not disappointed in him. He has made a wonderful career for himself.

Anyway, he recently received a postcard from his Alma Mater asking him to vote on a new mascot for them.

Me: Did you vote on a mascot?

Link: No. The only viable option was "The Wolves"

Me: What were the other options?

Link: The Journeys.

Me: Huh?

Link: Or The Wyverns.

Me: What?

Link: What was your mascot?

Me (laughing): The Gusties.....it was windy up there on the hill.....But the animal was a lion.

Link: With windswept hair no doubt.

Me: What was your mascot before this?

Link: The Stoned Out Underachiever.

What really IS going on in that mind of mine?

Me: How do you spell mimicking?

Lincoln: M-I-M-I-C-K-I-N-G? Why?

Me: I'm composing a blog posting in my head.

(pause)

Lincoln: You couldn't tell just by looking at you.

Me: That's because right there I was trying to burp.

Lincoln: I guess it looks pretty much the same.

Daddy Honey

Jake: Daddy, can I have some more chocolate milk please?

Me (mimicking Jake): Daddy, can I have some more Dos XX please?

Jake: Mommy you're supposed to call him Honey......because you're a Mommy.

Cleaning can be done any day of the week

This morning I was frantically cleaning the kitchen because it was driving me nuts. We've been neglecting the house cleaning lately because of everything else that has been going on so it's pretty dusty.

Me: Here Hannah, take this rag and wipe the dust off the base boards over there please.

Link: Honey, you know what day it is, right?

Me: Yes, Friday. But we can clean on weekdays too you know.

Link: Yes, but it's not the priority.

Me: Fine. Hannah, when you're done cleaning the ledge you can go get dressed.

The funny thing is that yesterday for "fairy tale" day at school (each day has a dress up theme this week) she chose to go as Cinderella.....before the fairy godmother comes along.

Jake's school photo

Jake got his school pictures back today. They came out pretty cute even though his hair is a little too "brushed". Part of his adorable charm is the mop of hair on his head. Trying to comb down the mop of hair just makes him look like he needs a haircut (which he does but still....). His smile is really good though.

Introducing Four Eyes

Hannah's new glasses arrived today. Doesn't she look adorable? We've already had the long, serious talk about respecting the glasses and the fact that they're a medical necessity and not a toy.

Grandpa Benson the sequel

For Hannah's writing challenge this week she is supposed to write about who she would get together with if she could get together with anyone and hang out. She chose Grandpa B who passed away a few years ago. Hannah met him a number of times but unfortunately doesn't remember him. He died before Jake was born.

Hannah: What was Grandpa Benson like?

Me: He was a stubborn, cranky old coot and I loved him very much.

(Jake walks into the room)

Me: Oh look...here comes the re-incarnation of Grandpa B right now. If you want to know what Grandpa was like just watch Jake.

Why is the rest of the country always trying to steal our holidays

Back in 2001 George W. Bush tried (I'm not sure if he was successful or not....which is probably my answer) to make 9/11 Patriot's Day. He was obviously ignoring the fact that Maine and Massachusetts already celebrate Patriot's Day on the 3rd Monday of April. Now the Conservatives are trying to take over the Boston Tea Party by having people hold "Tea Parties" today to protest what the government is doing with our tax dollars.

I would be more upset by it except I can't help but laugh every time a serious TV commentator encourages people to tea bag the government. They are encouraging people to send tea bags to the government as a form of protest. For those of you that don't get the joke (those few readers that I might have that are pure of mind and body) you can click here to get the Urban Dictionary definition of what sexual act the conservative movement is encouraging Americans to do today. Technincally tea bagging is actually illegal in many states....including Washington D.C. You also have to wonder why no young intern bothered to tell the executives what it meant before letting it go on air. Ahh.....good times.

Anyway....back to my original point.....HANDS OFF OUR MASSACHUSETTS HISTORY AND HOLIDAYS!!!

Pet Peeve

Contrary to what Hannah Montana would have you believe, you cannot have the best of both worlds. It drives me absolutely insane when I go into Whole Foods and everything is "Vegan Steak Quesadillas" and "Vegan BBQ Chicken" and "Vegetarian Liver". As a meatetarian I do not go around demanding that my salads and baked potatoes be made completely of meat but taste like vegetables. If you're not going to eat steak then you don't get to have steak quesadillas. You can't save Bessy the cow and eat a fake one at the same time. That doesn't make you a vegan....it makes you a hypocrite. Now, if you can't eat meat for religious or medical reasons then that's one thing but if it's just because the thought of a nice, juicy steak served up from the farm makes you queasy than go eat your tofu and edamame and leave the carnivorous activities to the rest of us. I think what bothers me even more is that in general (and no, I'm not saying all of them.....just many of them) vegans and vegetarians tend to have a "better than thou" complex. They look down their noses and say "how can you eat that living creature". Well, for one thing....it's not living anymore. Meanwhile they're apparently sneaking off to Whole Foods and getting fake steak and chicken fixes. And I'm sorry....any vegan/vegetarian who eats Vegetarian Liver is just a wacko. The only place liver can come from is INSIDE AN ANIMAL. It is a functioning organ that produces BILE. To eat a real liver is disgusting....to want one so badly that you eat a fake one is just beyond my mental capabilities.

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about

I received an e-card from Rachel this morning that made me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants.

Diane, It is nearly impossible to find ecards featuring showgirls coming out of a closet, but as everyone knows, drumming African ants are the next best thing. Congratulations on finishing the yearbook! Now go have a drink.

Here is the link to the card. It's hilarious. http://www.carlsencards.com/SelectCard.php?EcardText=1239804534&ENum=11

Thanks Rachel! What a great way to start the day.

She comes from a long line of strange women

Me: Guess what I finished last night?

Hannah: The yearbook?

Me: Yep.

Hannah: Yay!!! (she lights up like it's Christmas morning)

Me: Guess what that means we get to do now at night when Mommy gets home from work?

Hannah: What? Sit on the couch and snuggle?

Me: Clean the house for Grandma's visit!!!!!

(Her face falls)

Hannah: I don't like to clean. Do you?

Me: Nope.

Hannah: Does anyone like to clean?

Me: Aunt Debbie does.

Hannah: That's just weird.

Me: Grandma does too.

(she just shakes her head and walks away)

Define healthy

Hannah: Mommy, I'm packing all healthy snacks for school today.

Me: That's good. What did you pack?

Hannah: An apple.

Me: Good.

Hannah: Cheerios.

Me: Okay.

Hannah: Chocolate pudding

Me: It's non-fat. I'll give you that one.

Hannah: It has milk in it.

Me: True, I guess.

Hannah: And Cheez-its.

Me: Yeah, those aren't so healthy.

Hannah: It's cheese.

Me: No, not really. It's fake cheese.

Hannah: A little bit healthy?

Me: No, not even close. But good choices on everything else.

Is being the lead story on the 11 o'clock news too much to ask for?

Me (to Lincoln): Well, it's done. It feels a little anti-climatic. I feel like there should be fireworks. Or a stream of showgirls coming out of the closet. Is that too much to ask?

Pop the champagne!

The yearbook is done. Done, printed, proofed, saved to disk, and ready to overnight to the publisher. What will I do with my time now?

NOTE: No, that's not the cover of the book. That's the title page. The cover is actually a really cool design that was done by a 4th grader.

'Tis the Season

It's that time of year again....tick season has officially begun. The last few weeks we've found a few ticks on the kids clothing. Tonight we found the first one that actually made it into their skin. Jake had one on the back of his head, just above the hairline. Luckily I have this down to a science since we live in the woods. Nightly tick checks are back in place I guess.

Pirates? Seriously?

Me: You know, in George W.'s presidency he had to deal with dictators and terrorists. Obama has pirates. You have to wonder if someone walked into the room and said "Sir, we have a situation. There are pirates" and he just raised his eyebrows and said "Pirates? Seriously?"

Lincoln: Yeah, what is this? The 18th century? What's next....rickets?

For all of you "Celebrity Magazine" junkies out there like me

She may be the new Britney Spears and riding full speed on the Crazy Train but at least she still has a sense of humor about it.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

The circle of life leads you right to the Oregon Trail

When I was a kid I LOVED playing Oregon Trail at school. What a great computer game. A few years ago Melissa, my former office mate, and I found a copy of it on eBay and we played it at work in December when we were really slow (this was before they started closing us for the holiday break). We had a blast. We'd make other co-workers start out either really young or really old and see if they could survive the trip. They've definitely made the game a lot fancier than it was when I was a kid. There are a lot more choices now and the shopping at the beginning is actually rather in-depth instead of just a list of items that you could buy. Today I saw that they were selling it in Hannah's Scholastic Book Club flier so of course I had to buy it. It was only $15!

Along with every other kid in America Hannah brings home her monthly Scholastic Book Club fliers. Most months I just toss them in the recycling bin but lately I've actually been letting her go through them and select a few books. Of course it's not just the regular Scholastic Book Club anymore. She gets the two regular Scholastic fliers (Arrow and Lucky) and she also gets Scholastic Click! which is an interactive learning one that sells computer games. She also got Scholastic Virtues which sells bible stories and "life lessons". I haven't noticed that one before....maybe it only comes in April along with the Passover and Easter holidays. Who knows.

When I was a kid I used to go through those each month and circle a million books. Then my Mom would usually cut me down to one or two which really bummed me out. Now Hannah is the one that is doing the circling and I'm the one going through with a marker and crossing out the ones she doesn't need. I've become my mother.

But at least I'll still get to play Oregon Trail! Woo hoo!

Kids are freaking expensive!

As I learned when we were packing for our trip to California in February, my kids are in desperate need of summer clothes. Both Grandmas gave the kids some summer clothes for Easter but I still needed to go out and buy some shorts and tops for the kids and a few dresses for Hannah. All that being said, and figuring in $60 in coupons and discounts, I still just spent $212 on the kids and I haven't even bought summer shoes yet! And what sucks even more is that I can't put hand me downs on Jake. That is one distinct disadvantage to having one child of each sex. The good news is they should be all set for the summer now. Then it before I know it it will be time to go school shopping for fall clothes.

It's done! (almost)

I submitted the final draft of the yearbook to the Principal for review this morning. Pending any changes from her the book is done! Woo hoo!

Easter cleaning and little brothers

Me: If you want the Easter Bunny to hide eggs this year you'll have to make sure the kids' playroom is all cleaned up.

Hannah: Okay. Will Jake help me?

Me: Probably not.

Hannah: Jake refuses to clean.

Me: Yeah. It's a youngest sibling thing. I didn't like to help my older sister clean either.

Hannah: I know! I'll pick him up, put him in the middle of the room, close both doors, and then tie them closed with jump ropes and lock him in there.

Me: And when he kicks the door trying to get out of there and breaks the door who do you think will get blamed?

Hannah: Me?

Me: Yep. You might want to come up with another plan.

Hannah: Okay.

Me: How about we tell him that if he doesn't help you clean he can't have any of the eggs?

Hannah: That sounds like a better idea.

Hannah's eyes

Hannah had her eye doctor appointment this morning. The good news is that there is nothing pressing on her optical nerves (my biggest fear) and her eyes are fine although she does need glasses for reading. She won't need to wear them all the time but when reading or doing her homework she will need to wear them. Her eyes are "converging" when she reads and this will straighten them out.

Unfortunately we also learned that the headaches are not being caused by her eyes. Typically eye strain head aches are in the middle of the forehead and Hannah's are behind her eyes. Hannah explained her symptoms to the doctor and she really thinks it's probably migraines but that the neurologist would be able to confirm that.

I have one more stop I want to make before we get to the neurologist (which isn't until the very end of July) and that's the allergist. My sister has headaches caused by allergies/sinus problems and so I figured we should rule that out as well before the neurologist. Hannah claims she's allergic to dust and pollen although I've never seen any signs of it. Might as well check it out.

Time to renegotiate the contracts

Sometime in the past year Hannah lost yet another tooth. At the time she said she was hoping to get a toy from the tooth fairy like some of the other kids she knows. Hannah gets $1.00 per tooth. Other kids get $1 plus a Webkinz. Some get $5. Some get a toy, a webkinz, and money. It's insane. Hannah gets $1. If the tooth fairy is feeling wild and crazy it is delivered as a $1.00 coin instead of a $1.00 bill. When Hannah told me she was hoping to get a toy that time around I told her that when Moms and Dads decide to have kids they sit down with Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny and we tell them what they're allowed to give our children. It is a parents way of controlling how spoiled a child is. It also goes a long way towards explaining the differences that kids experience at Christmas (for example, does Santa wrap the gifts or not?).

Tonight the conversation came up again at dinner.

Me: Remember what I told you about how Mommies and Daddies meet with Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny?

Hannah: You talk with the Easter Bunny!

Me: Yep.

Hannah: Cool.

Me: We told him that you're only allowed to receive apples this year in your Easter basket.

Hannah: I got candy last year.

Me: Yeah, well we renegotiated the contract.

Typical Man

Jake just went running into the bathroom and told me he needed to go poopie. The next thing I hear is a loud grunt and "Ahhhh....That feels good" said through gritted teeth.

I almost died laughing.

It's no wonder they need a rest

On Wednesday nights Jake always starts whining about the fact that he has to go to school on Thursday and Friday.

Jake: Why do I have to go to school tomorrow? Why can't I go to Grandma's?

Lincoln: Because they need a few days off each week.

Jake: Why?

Lincoln: Because they need a few days to recover. You can be exhausting.

(the next morning)

Jake: I don't want to go to school today.

Lincoln: You have to, it's a school day.

Jake: Grandma made fruit salad for lunch yesterday. She put it on a plate instead of in a bowl and we had a situation.

Me: And you wonder why they need time to recover from you.

Trust issues and scaring the shit out of myself

Jake and Hannah have always treated injuries and illnesses very differently. Jake rarely complains about a stomach ache unless he's trying to get out of going to school. Hannah treats every injury as though she is on her death bed. Jake barely put up a fuss when he split his head open and required two staples in the back of his skull. Hannah always has chronic complaints about her stomach, her head, and her ankles that seem to have no real symptoms. No fever, no swelling, etc. Nothing concrete. It becomes hard to believe her. Does she really have an issue? Is she just overly sensitive? Is she looking for attention? It's definitely a fine line. You don't want to ignore her because what if it really is something serious? On the other hand, I don't want to be in the pediatrician's office every other day.

Her headaches sort of started out this way. My rule of thumb for something I can't see is how often, and how consistently, does she complain about it. If she's hobbling around on a "hurt" ankle but then gets distracted and runs off with her friends I assume she's fine. The headaches though have been fairly consistent but even they have their ups and downs. After I took her to the pediatrician and he thought it was the fact that she was grinding her teeth she seemed to notice that she was clenching or grinding all the time and she said when she stopped her headaches were better. Then we went to the dentist who said it had nothing to do with her teeth and I didn't hear her complaining very much about it anymore. I thought maybe it had disappeared and it had, no pun intended, all been in her head. I still didn't want to ignore it entirely which is why I've made the eye doctor and neurology appointments.

Which brings me to today....

The school nurse doesn't usually call me if Hannah has a headache. Hannah's teacher and I discussed the headaches a few weeks ago and she said that she usually just lets Hannah sit in a quiet corner when she complains of headaches and they eventually go away. Here is what concerned me about today. In the email Mrs. B said that Hannah "had trouble seeing the paper". Notice she doesn't say she had trouble "reading" the paper. So of course my mind runs wild. On one hand I think to myself that I'm glad she had vision problems today because then at Saturday's appointment the eye doctor will probably tell me she needs glasses and we'll call it a day. On the other hand, and this is where my mind goes to a very dark place way too easily, I envision the eye doctor telling me that Hannah has a tumor pressing on her eye ball or something like that. It could happen. You hear those stories all the time on telethons.

I called Hannah once she got to Grandma and Grandpa's house this afternoon to ask her about it.

Me: Hey there sweetie. I hear you had a headache at school again today.

Hannah: Yeah.

Me: Mrs. B said you had trouble seeing the paper in Music class.

Hannah: Yeah.

Me: Can you tell me a little bit about it so that I can tell the doctor on Saturday?

Hannah: I couldn't see the paper.

Me: What do you mean? Were the words blurry?

Hannah: No, they weren't blurry.

Me: Why couldn't you see them? Did you see spots or anything else in front of your eyes?

Hannah: I saw spots.

Me: What kind of spots? Were they white spots? Or black?

Hannah: Black spots.

Me: Were there a lot of little black spots? Or one big black spot?

Hannah: No, big black spots.

Okay, that makes me nervous. I try not to "lead" her with these questions but on the other hand, getting information out of her without asking specific questions is impossible. When she comes home from school each day and you ask "What did you do today?" she says "I don't remember" but if you say "Who did you sit with at lunch?" or "What did you do in Science?" or "Did you play with anyone at Recess?" then she'll tell you "Cassie", "we learned stuff", and "yes" but you still have to pry any additional info out of her.

I don't think of myself as a hypochondriac. I didn't got into my dentist's office and say "I have a white spot in my mouth....do you think it's cancer?" but when my dentist finds it and says "it's probably nothing but it could be pre-cancerous if left untreated" then yes, my mind definitely envisions the worst case scenario even if I truly believe it's nothing. Same with Lincoln's mole. I'm not obsessively checking his back every night looking for cancerous moles but now that the doctor said that she "didn't like the looks of one" I will admit I'm a little worried. I just like to get the "all clear" from professionals.

I'm sure that Hannah's headaches are just because of eye strain but until I hear that from the eye doctor herself I will continue to have the occasional "what if" moment. The fact that all three of these things are happening at the same time makes me feel like I'm a total nut job that is overreacting to everything.

Watch.....it will turn out that the three of us are fine and it's really Jake, the only one not seeing a specialist these days, that has the secret, deadly illness.

I'm just kidding.....sort of.

Hannah's headaches

Hannah's teacher just emailed me that Hannah complained of a headache this afternoon and that "she said she had trouble seeing the paper she was looking at during [Music] class." Hopefully it is just her eyes that are causing her headaches. We'll know more on Saturday I guess.

Don't read if you're squeamish

I went to the oral surgeon today to have her check out the thing that my dentist found in my mouth last week. Apparently I have to have it removed and "sent to the lab for testing". Sounds delightful, huh? Apparently it's a quick procedure and only requires Novocain but that my mouth will be quite sore for a few days afterwards. I asked if they just cut the tissue off at the top or if they have to cut into the bone and she said they'll have to cut down into the bone to remove it. That just makes me want to gag. I'm having horrible flashbacks to when I had my wisdom teeth removed in high school.

She said it could be something as simple as an oral papilloma, which I guess is a "benign tumor similar to a wart" (which also makes me want to gag) and "could have been caused by a virus" but at least it's harmless. Let's hope that's all it is. She did, however, keep asking me if I smoked, which I don't. I still have no idea how I would have gotten it but at least it will be gone if that's all it is. I've scheduled the procedure for Monday, April 27th so hopefully I will be fully recovered by the Kentucky Derby on Saturday, May 2nd. Michael's smoked ribs and Deb's homemade mac 'n cheese are not to be missed and they only serve them up once a year!

For those of you keeping track of our appointments lately, here is where we stand:

April 11th - Hannah's eye appointment regarding her headaches
April 27th - Removal of my "raised white lesion"
April 29th - Lincoln's appointment with the dermatologist for the mole his primary doctor "doesn't like the looks of".

Opening Day!

Yesterday was supposed to be Opening Day at Fenway Park. I enjoy baseball but I'm not a huge, crazy fanatic. In Boston, however, you can't help but be caught up in the Red Sox madness. It's like an electrical current that runs through the air from the time the pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training until the end of the season. Bostonians live and breathe the Red Sox.

Every year on Opening Day I host a luncheon at our office. I rent a hot dog roller grill and a huge popcorn popper and we eat hot dogs, popcorn, pretzels, peanuts, and nachos and we eat in the conference room and watch the game on TV. Unfortunately yesterday's game was postponed due to rain so we didn't have the game (or the lunch). I've moved the lunch to Thursday afternoon which is the next day game so at least that is something to look forward to.

Anyway.....the point to this whole long rambling post is to put up the following pictures. Every year my friend that works over at the Red Sox sends me the pictures that they take at sunrise of Fenway Park on Opening Day. This year they're pictures of the "Day Before Opening Day" sunrise since the official Opening Day got pushed back until today. It's hard to believe looking at the second picture that it was POURING rain all afternoon that day.

My Monday.....in 10 words or less

Yearbook. Work. Yearbook. Dancing with the Stars on fast forward.

A moral dilemma

I've now been working on the yearbook for 14 hours today with only a few very short breaks here and there. I've actually apologized to Hannah, who is starting to feel abandoned by Mommy, but I explained to her that I made a commitment and I have to follow through on what I started (see....I got a little lesson in responsibility in there!)

Anyway, I have a little bit of a moral dilemma. As many of you know, I have been collecting waivers from all the parents where they can select whether or not I can publish their kids name and photos. In addition, they can also select whether or not I can publish the portrait and no candids or candids and no portrait for their child. It's a real pain in the ass. I was telling Lincoln earlier that I have Hannah in there three times and if anyone says anything about it I'll tell them they can do the yearbook themselves next year. His response was that I should be able to put Hannah's picture in there for every person who selected a response on their waiver that makes extra work for me.

There is one specific girl whose mother said that her name and her class portrait cannot be printed but candids of her can be published. She also sent back the waiver....a mere two weeks before my deadline....with the snotty comment, "I do not think it is appropriate to be doing a yearbook for this age group". So here's the dilemma....I have a candid of her daughter where she looks like she is going to cry and it isn't the most flattering picture. Do I put it in because her mom is a bitch or do I leave it out because it's not the kids' fault her mom is a bitch?

As of right now I took the photo out.....but let's see how I'm feeling in another few hours.

Hannah's continued fashion statement

As I stated the other day, Hannah has been wearing a skirt or dress over her jeans pretty much every day this week. It's actually pretty practical since it recycles dresses that are getting much shorter than they originally were but I think she also just likes that it is quirky. Here are her outfits from Friday and Saturday. The one she wore on Friday is the one that I described as a "fairly long silk dress". I guess I hadn't realized how much she has grown because looking at the picture the dress isn't terribly long.

Friday night at the Basket Raffle:

Saturday afternoon:

Lincoln is my new secretary apparently

It is my job to keep track of our family schedule. Usually Lincoln is the one asking me when (and what) we have for weekend commitments but apparently I am totally slacking on those things this weekend.

(Lincoln walks into the room and gets dressed to head out)

Me: Holy crap! What time is it?

Lincoln: 8:30.

Me: Is Jake ready for karate? Is Hannah going with you and Jake?

Lincoln: Yes, and then I'm taking them to the library.

(hours later....I've been working on the yearbook, of course!)

Lincoln: Hey there. We're home. You haven't taken your vitamin yet.

Me: I haven't eaten yet.

(he goes outside to play with the kids....comes back in a little while later)

Lincoln: What times is your hair appointment?

Me: 11:30 (look at the clock and realize it is 11:03) SHIT!

(I run upstairs to shower and brush my teeth....run back downstairs. Lincoln hands me a chicken/cheese wrap he had made and wrapped in a paper towel, a bottle of water, and my vitamin as I run out the door.)

What the hell would I do without him?

She so smart she makes me laugh

Hannah recently received the books that she had ordered through the Scholastic Book Club. One of them was a chapter book based on the new movie Monsters vs. Aliens.

Hannah: In my junior novelization of Monsters vs. Aliens.......

(Lincoln and I look at each other.....I burst out laughing)

Hannah: What?

Me: You are just so amazingly intelligent you make me laugh. "Junior novelization", huh?

And the ants coming marching in

It's that time of year again. The time of year where we get a little too familiar with bugs. So far we've already spotted our first ticks (luckily only on clothing and not yet in the skin of our children) and now it's time for the ants. It seems a little early this year but they're out in full force this week. Tonight Jake and I killed two while we were cuddling on the couch, he and Daddy killed another one in the bathroom, and since I've been chilling on the couch watching TV I've killed two on my blanket and one that was crawling on my shoulder (that one really freaked me out). I hate ants.

As for the ticks....last weekend Kiki was down playing with the kids and I heard her yell out that they found a tick on Hannah. Before I realized that it was only on her clothes and hadn't actually bitten her yet I was downstairs with my tick kit and ready to go. I've become a pro at getting ticks out. So far I've taken multiple ticks out of both Hannah and Jake (dog ticks and deer ticks) and one dog tick out of Lincoln. To date I'm the only one that hasn't gotten a tick around here (knock on wood).

I guess it's just one disadvantage to living in a wonderful wooded setting.....unless I count each ant and tick one by one. In that case it's Disadvantage #1,050,305.

This is why I don't cook

Tonight when we got home from Family Fun Night I decided to warm up some leftover pizza for dinner. Lincoln had taken the kids to Dairy Queen before FFN but I had gone straight there from work. Instead of putting the pizza on a cookie sheet I figured I could just put it directly on the rack like I've done 100 times before. One of the two slices fell off and fell right onto the coil below and started doing some serious burning. Smoke was coming up through the crack at the top and when you opened the door it came pouring out. Of course it set off the smoke detector which really freaked the kids out - particularly Jake. We got the smoke detector turned off, the smoke cleared out, and the kids settled down.

Jake: Is there going to be a fire?

Lincoln: No, Mommy is done cooking.

Hannah's fashion sense

Lately all that Hannah has been wearing to school are dresses and skirts over jeans. She actually looks pretty cute. You might remember this dress from the first day of school. That one was fairly practical because the dress is almost short enough to be a shirt now but the one she wore today was a fairly long silk dress with a kerchief hem. I'll try to grab a picture of it tonight at FFN.

Update on the Snow's

I'm sorry that I really haven't posted much this week except for a few quick updates on our doctor appointments. This week has been a doozy. On top of the usual things life throws our way I've also been dealing with the scheduling of doctors appointments, tracking down yearbook waivers, and of course, working on the yearbook itself. Wednesday night I also went with Tracy to see Katy Perry at the House of Blues, Thursday night was my PTO board meeting, and tonight is the Math Family Fun Night (isn't that an oxymoron?) and basket raffle. The few minutes that I actually have to sit down and not do anything the last thing I want is to be sitting at a desk and typing on my computer. I just want to veg.

So.....quick recap on everything I didn't write about this week:

KATY PERRY: Great show! Tracy and I had a great time and Katy puts on a fantastic show. Tracy even bought me a Katy Perry cherry chapstick from the merch stand. I told her I would treasure it as much as the NKOTB key chain she got me at their concert last year. It's the little things that make me happy.

PTO BOARD MEETING: I made it through the board meeting without volunteering to be on next year's board. I really need a break. I did, however, volunteer to chair the Fall Family Fun Night but that is something that I had really wanted to do this year but it didn't happen because of my other commitments. I chaired a FFN back in November 2006 and I loved doing it. The theme that year was "Around the World" and we set up seven rooms as the seven continents. We had sno-cones in Antarctica, karate demonstrations and lessons on using chopsticks in Asia, we had a drum group in Africa, a kangaroo (yes, a live one!) in Australia.....you get the drift. Next Fall I'm doing a Time Travel one to tie into History and Social Studies lessons. I'm actually really excited about it.

MATH FAMILY FUN NIGHT/BASKET RAFFLE: Tonight is the Math FFN which I honestly just don't see as potentially fun but I'm sure it will be for the kids. The co-chairs have put a lot of work into it and my understanding is there is a train theme and kids get to go around to different "train stops" and play games that fool them into thinking that math doesn't suck. (Gee, can you tell how I felt about math class through my educational years?) This is also the night of the PTO spring fundraiser which is a basket raffle. Each classroom chooses a theme and the kids all bring in one item that goes with their classroom theme. The baskets are then raffled off. Hannah's class chose the New England Patriots/Football as their theme so Hannah contributed a Patriots' Monopoly game. I co-chaired this event last year with my friend Denise and I have to say, I'm glad I'm not doing it again. It's a lot of work and I would have loved to have been involved again but there is no way I could do it at the same time as the yearbook without me ending up curled in the fetal position and Lincoln wanting to divorce me and the kids turning me in to Child Services for having abandoned them. See Lincoln....I am learning how to say "no" to things.

This weekend brings more yearbook (what else?), a hair appointment, and about a million other things that I don't have time for but the good news is that I talked Hannah out of having her slumber party this weekend. I just couldn't do it. I told her we'd choose another weekend sometime soon but neglected to tell her that it probably won't be until the end of May. This weekend is out, next weekend is Easter, the weekend after that is our trip to Niagara Falls, the weekend after that is April Break (which a lot of people go out of town for), the next weekend is Derby weekend, and then Grandma and Grandpa are out here the following weekend so that puts us into middle or late May for her slumber party. I'll just sell it to her as an "end of the school year party" if she complains about it. I'm certain I can get her to buy into that.

And that's all folks..... Thank you for reading the latest installment on the crazy life of the Snow Family.

Our schedule of specialists

April 8th - Oral Surgeon for Diane
April 11th - Eye doctor for Hannah
April 29th - Dermatologist for Lincoln
July 28th - Neurologist for Hannah

I hope all of these turn out to be nothing. I'm starting to firmly believe that the medical industry is in cahoots with each other and they just pass around referrals to keep business healthy.

The only thing that scares me....

.....is that I found out about my abnormal blood count within 24 hours of having my dentist tell me I have some potentially, but not likely (I really have to stress that to myself!), pre-cancerous thing in my mouth. Don't those two things often go hand in hand?

Our medical saga continues

So, in addition to Lincoln's "suspicious" mole that he's having checked out on April 29th my dentist discovered something in my mouth today that is "potentially pre-cancerous but most likely just excess tissue" that needs to be removed and biopsied. I haven't called for an appointment yet but I will shortly. I just left the dentist office and she referred me to an oral specialist. On top of that the dentist also looked at Hannah's teeth and she said that while Hannah probably does grind/clench her teeth (which is common in kids) she doesn't show any wear or tear on her teeth and therefore the headaches are unlikely to be caused by that. My next step is to take her to see an eye doctor although her pediatrician said that probably isn't necessary since she passed both her pediatrician's eye exam and the school eye exam but I'd rather rule that out before subjecting her to a neurologist which is the pediatrician's next suggestion. I suppose I'll probably end up making both the eye and the neurologist appointments at the same time just so we don't have to wait but hopefully the eye doctor will say her headaches are caused from that. Who knows. I'll keep you all updated.