Concur!

This is one of those stories that I've been meaning to write about for awhile. Back before Christmas Jake was trying to plug in his laptop but unfortunately the outlet is between the wall and the couch. It's sort of a pain to get to.

Jake: Whose idea was it to put the couch here!

Me: Probably mine.

Jake: Well, you shouldn't have done it!

Me: It may have been my idea but Daddy concurred.

Jake: Well don't ever concur with Mommy again!

Me: Oh yeah? If Daddy didn't concur with Mommy we wouldn't have this house. We wouldn't have....

Link: ....You.

Me: That's right.

Jake: Well don't do it anymore!

Me: So Jake, if Mommy were to go to Daddy and say "I think we should take the kids back to Niagara Falls." what should Daddy say?

Jake: Concur! Concur!!!

Career Day

Jake: Guess what I want to be when I grow up?

Me: What?

Jake: I want to work in a bank.

Hannah: Are you going to be a bank teller?

(pause)

Link: Or a bank robber?

So proud

Jake can't go into a single store - or watch a single commercial - without wanting to buy something for himself. He wants everything. The other day I had a $50 credit at a local nursery that I knew was going to expire at the end of the year. I didn't want to let time get away from me and then realize that I had lost that $50 so I decided to let Jake spend it. At first Hannah was a little jealous but then I explained that she and I get to do all sorts of Mommy/Daughter things and I thought this would be a good Mommy/Son thing since Jake loves to garden.

But do you know what?

The little bugger surprised me.

He bought more stuff for Hannah than he did for himself. She recently decided she wanted to decorate her room with a "nature" theme so he bought her a plant, a stuffed owl, and a small fake Christmas tree. Then we went to another store and he bought her a frog doing a yoga move on a rock (she's into yoga lately because her teacher has the class do it at school).

What a softie.

Good things CAN come in shirt size boxes

(Unwrapping a birthday present the size of a shirt box.)

Jake: Mommy, why do you get to choose all of my clothes? They're too small for you anyway.

Link: Jake! How do you know that is clothes? You haven't even opened it yet.

(To me, under his breath.)

Link: Is it clothes?

Me: Yep.

(Upon discovering they're dinosaur pajamas.)

Jake: Wow! Thanks! (big hug for Mommy)

The youngest child's Christmas lament

Yesterday we put our Christmas tree up. As we do every year, the kids put up the ornaments while I string the popcorn. Lincoln supervises the kids and hangs the popcorn garlands as I finish them. Of course this year our jobs overlapped as the kids wanted to help me string the popcorn and hang it too. I'm thinking in a year or two Link and I can just sit back and let the kids do all the work.

The one and only thing I put on the tree is a red elf that I had when I was a kid. They still sell these in the stores but what I remember about the elf was it was the "special" thing we put on the tree each year.

Jake: Can I put this on the tree? (holding up the elf)

Hannah: No! That's Mommy's. Mommy hangs that every year.

Jake: Why?

Mommy: Because every year when Mommy and her sisters were decorating the tree we fought over who got to put the elf on the tree and because Mommy was the youngest - something you're familiar with Jake - I never won. So now I get to put it on the tree every year.

Jake: That's not fair!

Mommy: Don't worry. One of you will inherit it when I'm dead.

This girl is too smart for me

This week the kids and I are down in Arizona visiting my parents. For some reason while we were riding in the car today Jake brought up the topic of their first words. This is a conversation that we've had many times before but today it ended a lot differently.

Jake: Do you know what my first word was?

Me: Yep, ball.

Jake: And what was Hannah's first word?

Me: Boom.

Hannah: Yeah, but is that really a word or just an onomatopoeia*?

(Both Mom and I whip our heads around to Hannah....)

Me/Mom: What!?!

Hannah: The spelling of something the way it sounds.

(silence)

And for those of you playing along at home, Webster's defines onomatopoeia as "the naming of a thing or action by the vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)"

I have no idea what her second word was so if we're not classifying boom as an official word anymore we're in trouble.

My very stylish kids

Aren't they adorable?

A five year olds view of his father

In my continued quest to catch up on things I've neglected over the past few months, I am finally posting the Father's Day story that Jake made at daycare for Lincoln. It is similar to the one that he made for me on Mother's Day.

The story is pre-written but Jake supplied the answers to fill in the blanks. His answers are in bold in the story below.

My Dad
by Jacob Snow

My Dad is the best Dad on the planet. His name is Lincoln. He is as strong as a pig. He is 38 years old. He weighs 100 pounds and is 5' tall. His eyes are black and his hair is black. My Dad's favorite sport is football. His favorite things to do is take naps. My favorite thing to do with my Dad is play the Wii. Dad makes me laugh when he tells me jokes. But when he gets angry he sends me to my room. I love my Dad more than spaghetti.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

Love, Jacob

A lesson in joint checking

Jake: Mommy, since it's Daddy's birthday today YOU have to buy lunch.

Me: Okay.

(later)

Hannah: When it's my birthday I'm going to have Mommy buy lunch.

Jake: When it's my birthday I'm going to have Mommy buy lunch too.

Me: What you guys don't realize is that Mommy and Daddy share the same account.

Jake: Wait, what?

Me: Basically we both put all our money in the same piggy bank and either one of us can take money out to spend on things.

Jake: But what if you and Daddy don't agree on what to buy at the store?

Me: Then we talk it out like two grown-ups......and then Mommy wins.

A young Lincoln in training

On Friday night my friend Tracy and I went to a 40th birthday for our friend Tanya. It was a late night out and Tracy crashed in the Treehouse afterwards. The next morning Tracy, Hannah, and I were chilling up in the Treehouse while the boys fed us breakfast. Jake loves nothing better than to serve us in situations like this. At one point, when I had to go down to show him where something was, he got so mad and made me go right back upstairs once I had pointed it out because it was HIS duty to do this and I couldn't help him. Not only did he serve us breakfast upstairs but according to Lincoln he poured, flipped, and plated the pancakes all by himself.

Talk about a little Link in training.

This morning was Link's birthday and I was preparing Link's breakfast in bed. Since this is a rather unusual occurrence in our house Jake naturally asked why it was happening.

Jake: Why do you get breakfast in bed every weekend and Daddy only gets breakfast in bed on his birthday?

Me: Because Daddy spoils me rotten just like you're going to do to your wife someday, right?

It's never to early to start training them.

Lost in translation

I realize the last half dozen postings or so have been about Jake. It's not that Hannah isn't doing anything funny or exciting, it's just that Jake never shuts up so of course he gives me endless amounts of material.

Like this one.

Sunday the four of us went shopping at Kohl's. I needed to pick up a silver chain necklace and Hannah loves to try out all the different perfumes. She found one that was really nice smelling and she sprayed it on me. It smelled wonderful which was a good thing because, while I wouldn't have had any problem saying no if I didn't like it, it made it easier for me to sort of buy my daughter a bottle of perfume named "Provocative Interlude". I like it too so I bought it for myself but she can borrow it. This way it's actually my perfume but she can borrow it without saying that she personally owns a bottle of Provocative Interlude.

Because, as Link said, that just seems wrong.

(Okay, so some of this story actually was about Hannah.)

But we're not talking about bad parenting choices, we're talking about things that Jake says. While Hannah was trying out all the different perfumes he wanted to do it too. Of course we were trying to tell him that men wear cologne and women wear perfume.

But this is what he took away from the conversation.

(As we're pulling out of the parking lot.)

Jake: When do I get to wear man-fume?

OMG....This kid NEVER shuts up

Jake talks.

A lot.

And I mean a LOT.

The other day he fell asleep in the car on the way to Kristen's soccer game. When he first woke up he started babbling incoherent sentences. I wasn't even sure he was speaking English. All we knew was that he was awake and therefore he had to be making noise.

Have I mentioned he talks a lot?

Since I walked in the door about an hour ago Jake hasn't been quiet for more than about 10 seconds at a time. He's either talking about school or Dinosaur Train or orange water (OJ mixed with water) or balloons. Seriously, he just talks.

And talks.

Jake: Today, on the bus ride home, it was REALLY quiet today.

Me: Oh yeah?

Link: Why, were you asleep?

(laughter from me, Link, and Hannah)

Hannah: I know! Let's play the quiet game!

(Lincoln, Hannah and I immediately stop talking.)

Jake: HOLD ON! HOLD ON! HOLD ON! Ready? Uno, dos, tres....

(silence for approximately 20 seconds)

Jake: (as he bites into his taco and starts chewing) Num, num, num, num

(The 3 of us burst into laughter again.)

Hannah: You should blog about that. I might blog about that. That is definitely blogworthy.

The key to getting Jake to snuggle

Jake hates to snuggle. His idea of snuggling is a quick, half-hearted hug before he races off to the next thing. I told him yesterday while I was cleaning up the house that as long as he sat in my lap and snuggled with me he wouldn't have to help me clean.

I don't think he has sat in my lap that long since he learned how to crawl. I'm happy to trade a dirty house for some snuggle time.

Jake is always looking for a way to make money

Yesterday Lincoln took the kids and their cousin Kayla for a hike in Purgatory Chasm. I've never been there but after their last hike there Lincoln swore he'd never do it again because it was too nerve-wracking. Apparently there are any number of drop offs and rocks. Delightful, huh?

Apparently Lincoln is a sucker for punishment though because they went back yesterday. I stayed home to clean the house. Fun for me!

Me: Well, on the good news front, the life insurance policies are paid up on each of you.

Jake: What is life insurance?

Me: If something were to happen to you and you died, someone would pay Mommy money.

Jake: Wait? What? I should get the money!!!

Me: You'd be dead.

Jake: Okay....how about this? If we come back alive YOU pay US!

Jake's apple tree

Despite all the chaos around here this summer we did manage to get Jake's apple tree in just in time before he started kindergarten. Like Hannah he'll have his picture taken in front of this apple tree every year for kindergarten through 12th grade.

An October picnic

Today is a gorgeous fall day and the kids decided to put on a picnic lunch for the family. They made the sandwiches themselves, got every one's drink orders and laid out the blanket. Even Leo had his food and water bowl outside although, as you'll notice in the pictures, he would have preferred to be eating the people food.

Men are such babies

Earlier this week I went to the Paper Store to buy a card for Lincoln for our anniversary. At the checkout was this little book designed to look like a police officer's ticket book. It had a list of violations that you could charge your kids fines for including whining, not cleaning their room, leaving dirty laundry on the floor, swearing, etc. Fines range from fifty cents to about $2.50.

I thought it was hilarious.

The kids didn't.

Yesterday Hannah got a warning violation - meaning she didn't have to actually pay the $4.50 in fines - posted on her kitchen board (more about that later). This morning Jake left his dirty laundry all over the floor and I told him that he had to pick it up.

Me: Jake, you need to pick up your dirty laundry. That's what Hannah got a warning violation for yesterday.

Jake: What?

Me: Yeah, you know, a ticket? Part of her fine was for leaving dirty laundry around. I'll give you one if you don't pick up your dirty laundry.

Jake: Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You would seriously do that to a man with a cut?!?

And then he proceeded to show me the world's smallest cut on the back of his hand.

Nice try Bud.

Memories and Regrets

Over the last few months I have worried about how my depression has affected my kids in many different ways. I must admit, one of those ways is the fact that I haven't been blogging about my kids and the funny things they do and say. I love going back and choosing a random month from the archives and reading about something the kids did that I had completely forgotten about. The fact that so many memories haven't been recorded in the past few months makes me incredibly sad. I know that despite the misery of the past few months we've had some great times as well. At best I manage to write up a quick recap on Facebook but I haven't committed much to keeping up with the blog. I just haven't had it in me and that makes me sad.

A few weeks ago, during one of our regularly scheduled Friday night Mexican dinners with my friend Tracy, I somehow started thinking about how when Jake was first born Hannah used to always want to play "baby on the doorstep." It was a big elaborate game we would play where she would pretend that she found Jake on the doorstep and we had to bring him in, decide to keep him and then I would always suggest naming him Henry which she always rejected. That game went on for months and yet it was something I haven't thought about in years. I didn't have the blog back then so of course I never wrote it down anywhere and I'm glad that I can do it now. It does make me sad though to think of all those other memories that I never recorded the past few months.

Another memory that I had forgotten about until that night was "Hecuba Buttmunchkin". When Hannah was little we always used to call her buttmunchkin (and still do sometimes). I used to tease her that her real name was Hecuba Buttmunchkin and she would get so mad at me. I told her that it was what was on her official birth certificate and she wouldn't be able to convince me otherwise. It used to get her so riled up and always made me laugh.

You always think, in the moment, that you'll never forget that funny joke or special thing that the kids did, but you do. Even when it's a game you played for months and months and you figure you'll be playing that same game until they're old and gray, you don't realize until years later when you're sitting around eating enchiladas that one day that game just stopped.

And that's just depressing (pun intended).

Bad name

Jake: What is Hannah's bad name?

Me: What?

Jake: You know.....mine is JACOB DANIEL SNOW!

New season, new color

SPRING / SUMMER:



AUTUMN/WINTER:


And a picture that was just too cute not to post: