Chickening out

So it turns out that Hannah's third grade class is studying the American Revolution right now and she's very excited about that. What she didn't seem so excited about the other day was reading Johnny Tremain with me. Since I'm already nervous about reading that book with her - and I'm a great big chicken - I've decided we'll save it for when she's a little bit older. Maybe I'll let her discover it on her own instead of forcing it on her.

It's just a wee bit rainy these days

Here is the screen cap of the local weather report showing how much rain we've gotten. This is not how much rain we've gotten this month. This is how much rain we've gotten in the past 48 hours.

A full service contractor (subtitled: The greatest little brother ever)

Last year before we drove to Iowa I had my car completely checked out by the mechanic. My car had been rather noisy lately but the mechanic said that it was more of a nuisance thing and if I could live with the occasional noise it didn't need to be fixed. The noise came and went so it wasn't really much of a big deal until recently. The last month or two the car has been making the noise a lot more often so a few weeks ago, in one of my conversations with our contractor at the office, I mentioned I needed to find a new mechanic since the Saturn dealership had closed. Cyril said that his brother was a mechanic and that his shop was not far from the office. Since I still thought it was only a nuisance thing - and I've been so insanely busy - I haven't had a chance to drop it off yet. Well, I guess I should have.

It has been raining like crazy the last few days. We've gotten a total of about 12 inches of rain in March and 5-6 of those inches have fallen in the last two days. This morning when I was driving to work I drove through an average sized puddle - not too big of one - and right afterwards my "check battery" light came on. I didn't really think too much of it because my battery is less than a year old and I figured it had just gotten wet or something and was a false alarm.

Later in the day Cyril stopped by to check in on how things were wrapping up and I told him I was going to need the name and number of his brother soon because I really needed to get my car into the shop. He gave me grief about not getting it checked out yet and told me one of these days I'd be stranded with a dead car on the side of the road.

Well guess what.....

Tonight when I left the office I was heading to a parent information evening at Hannah's school that was supposed to start at 7 p.m. I called Lincoln to tell him there was a good chance that I wouldn't make the meeting and would be home earlier than expected because traffic getting to the Mass Pike was really bad. With all the flooding lately there are a number of closed roads and reduced lanes. Just as I was finally getting through the stop light, while I was still talking to Lincoln, my ABS (the brake light) came on. That concerned me since the battery light was still on as well. Then the "service" light came on showing a picture of a little wrench before the "check engine soon" light came on. Of course I'm narrating all of this for Lincoln since I was still on the phone with him and I told him I was going to pull into the parking lot of the ice rink up ahead. Before I got to the parking lot my dashboard lights went out and my radio turned off. As I finally turned into the parking lot I realized that my power steering was gone and my windshield wipers were moving very slowly. I managed to pull into a parking spot before the car died completely.

The good news is that I was only about a mile or two from where Cyril told me his brother had his garage so I told Lincoln I was going to call Cyril, have my car towed to his brother's shop, and then Lincoln would have to drive into the city with the kids to pick me up. I called Cyril for the name and address of his brother's shop and it turns out that he and his wife live right around the corner from where my car died. He said they'd be right now and that I could borrow his wife Cristin's car. I couldn't believe it. What a generous offer!

The two of them came down and Cyril took a look at my car. He managed to get it started again and we thought about attempting to drive it to the shop down the street instead of having it towed but we could barely drive it more than 30 seconds in the parking lot before it started shutting down again so I called AAA.

This whole situation amazes me. Cyril is the general contractor on the office project and while he and I have certainly become friends over the past few weeks (and he's my new little brother since Kegan is gone) he and his wife certainly didn't have to do this for me. I couldn't believe it. I really like this kid. He's a keeper.

Imaginary no more

When Lincoln and I built our house at the end of 2001/early 2002 we poured the foundation for the garage but didn't build the garage itself. We figured we'd get to it "soon" but it never came about until now. We're finally building the garage and putting in a nice little mother-in-law apartment over it so that Mom and Dad can come and stay with us for longer periods of time.

I'm very excited about building the garage but a little bit of me is also sad to see our current "garage" go. Because the foundation has been poured all these years the footprint of the garage has always been in place. Lincoln and I park in the "garage" and we each have our assigned sides. If we're looking for something we say "it's out in the garage" if it's within the confines of the cement walls marking the edges of the foundation. We jokingly complain about how much the roof "leaks" when it rains and Lincoln grumbles about how he has to shovel out the "garage" when it snows. Our friends laugh about it and for 8 years it has been our own little joke about how we have a garage that has no walls or roof.

And now that's about to change. Like I said, I'm very excited about the garage but it's definitely going to be weird. It was our quirky little thing and now it's going to be gone.

Oh well. I'll get over it the first time it snows and I don't have to scrape off my car that was parked in the "garage".

Another day, another hair color

Soooooo, my last hair color change a few weeks ago wasn't drastic enough. This time I decided to go completely blonde. Check it out!

Okay, that one was gross

It's tick season again. Unfortunately we didn't realize the ticks were out in full force yet so Jake had one in his hair for the past couple of days. How do we know it had been there that long? Because it was quite swollen with blood. Absolutely disgusting.

Luckily I got it out without popping it and the bite will heal nicely but man, oh man, that was disgusting.

A proud day

Me: Jake, how was your day?

Jake: Great.

Me: What did you do today?

Jake: I didn't sit down at ALL today!

Me: You didn't? Not at all?

Jake: Nope.

Me: Not even when you ate your lunch?

Jake: No, I didn't sit in the bad chair today.

Me: Ahhh......gotcha.

What a proud moment.

Maybe we're worrying about the wrong things

Right now our school is in the middle of a big budget crisis. Maybe, instead of worrying about the budget, we should be worrying about the quality of the what we're currently paying for instead. Last December I was disturbed by the fact that the new Technology teacher sent home a newsletter with seven typos in the first article. Yesterday Hannah brought home her report card and under the "Writing" portion of the report card the school misspelled the word beginning. As in, "The student writes with a clear beginnig, middle and end."

Now I'm sure some would argue that if we had more money for the schools and the teachers weren't so overworked and underpaid then we'd have fewer mistakes like this in the school. I would argue that you can't ask for more money when you're currently giving us poor quality service. That's like the person at work who comes in late, leaves early, and takes a 3 hour lunch asking for a raise. Show us you deserve the money.

On the plus side, Hannah had another great report card. My favorite comment this term was "Hannah's comprehension skills are naturally strong due to her love for literature and varied taste in genres."

I have to admit though that Hannah getting high marks from a school that can't even spell the word beginning right is sort of like winning an "I Spy" game against a blind person.

The book that changed the course of my life

In June 1988 we moved from Decorah, Iowa to Lynnwood, Washington (a suburb of Seattle). I would be starting the 6th grade that September and my teacher was a woman by the name of Mrs. Whitlow. I was a little nervous since the neighborhood kids called her "Mrs. Witchlow" but being in that class changed my life and started the entire domino effect that got me out to Boston where I met Lincoln and had my wonderful family.

Every Friday afternoon Mrs. Whitlow would read us a chapter or two from a book. I only remember two of them - Carry On, Mr. Bowditch and Johnny Tremain - but those two would go on to be two of my favorite books of all time. Especially Johnny Tremain. I must have read that book at least 30 times in the past 22 years.

You're probably wondering how that book got me to Boston. If you've ever read the book you'll know that it's about a boy living in Boston in the time period leading up to the beginning of the American Revolution. Johnny becomes involved with the Sons of Liberty and participates in the Boston Tea Party among other pre-war activities. The book is beautifully written and ends with a personal reason for joining the war effort. The social and personalized aspect of the story is what intrigued me.

Two years later I had a great U.S. History teacher by the name of Mr. Kipping. He did a fantastic unit on the Battle of Lexington and Concord that made me fall in love with studying history. In 1995 I graduated high school and went to college where I majored in History. I've never been about the dates and hard facts regarding history. To me, the social impact of history is much more fascinating and I truly believe that stems from Johnny Tremain and my introduction to that book in the sixth grade.

After graduating from college I still had a fascination with the city of Boston and all the history here so I decided I would give living out here a try. I told myself I'd stay here for two years and if I didn't like it I could move somewhere else when those two years were up. Well, before those two years were up I was married and seven months pregnant with Hannah so I guess I made the right choice. As of this coming June I will have lived here for 11 years making Massachusetts my home state longer than any other state that I've ever lived in.

The reason all of this is going through my head today is that Hannah and I are about to start reading Johnny Tremain together for the first time. Her final photo essay isn't due until May but we're going to the reenactment of the Battle of Lexington this April to take her final photo for the project. Before we go I want to read Johnny Tremain to her.

I'll be honest, I'm a little worried. She's years younger than I was when I first read the book so maybe it will be a little over her head. What if she doesn't like it? What if she finds it boring? I don't need Hannah to like everything that I like but that book means the absolute world to me and I'll be devastated if she doesn't enjoy it. Maybe I'm just trying to relive what, to me, would have been the coolest thing in the world at her age. The idea that we can actually see history being reenacted in front of our very eyes.

I know that she is her own person and will have her own interests in life but I really, really, really hope she enjoys this experience. After that I'll let her get a tattoo, dye her hair pink, and date a boy named Rat. She just needs to enjoy this with her Mommy first. Deal?

More political incorrectness

There is a lot of stuff going on in town right now about the budget cuts to our regional school district. I know that many schools are going through budget cuts but I guess ours is more drastic than most of the other districts in this state (at least according to the newspaper). Additionally we're already one of the lowest districts when it comes to money spent per pupil so basically we're getting really screwed here.

Of course the typical discussions are going on around town about cutting teachers and programs. They are trying to re-open discussions with the teachers' union in order to get some relief on salaries and there is talk that high school sports will become completely self-funding. In other words, parents will have to pay $500 per sport per child if they want to participate in any sport. Additionally stuff like Yearbook will be cut because they can't pay the teacher's a stipend to act as an advisor. That of course is one that is near and dear to my heart but oh well. Maybe a parent will step up and volunteer. After all, that's what I do for the elementary school.

But I digress.

There are two major things that bug me about this whole process and this is where I get into the "politically incorrect" part of my rant.

1) Spanish Immersion class. Right now we have one class per grade level that is a "Spanish immersion" class meaning that they teach everything in Spanish and the kids - who are all English speaking students - will learn to speak Spanish fluently. There is discussion that this program may be cut to save money and I have to say, I full agree with that, although if I stated it publicly around town I'd probably be tarred and feathered. I think instead of putting a ton of money into teaching 25 kids from each grade how to speak Spanish fluently they should instead have ALL the kids in English speaking classes and have ALL the kids taught Spanish as a separate class like gym, music, art, and technology. All our kids are going to need to speak Spanish at some point so why don't we teach all of them now? And if the kids rotated through the classroom like they do with music, art, etc. we'd only have to supply one room in the school with Spanish materials, text books, etc. instead of five. Oh look, I just saved money and now ALL the kids will be able to talk to over 50% of the population that I can't talk to because I never learned Spanish.

2) Special Education. No, I am not saying that we should get rid of Special Education. I think it's very important for the kids who legitimately need it. I think what is equally important is a Talented & Gifted program. But while the school district is legally obligated to spend millions and millions and millions of dollars on the SpEd program it's not required to spend a single dime on helping those kids that need help on the other end of the spectrum to fulfill their potential as well. Something else I think needs to be addressed is that it seems like every third kid these days is in SpEd. Seriously. And this is a gripe I have against society as a whole and not just our school district. You can go into any classroom at any grade level and probably half of the class is on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) which means they require additional, personalized help to learn because they're considered to be struggling or disadvantaged in one way or another. Once again, my talented and gifted daughter doesn't get any individualized attention but that's not the point this time. Just like in my rant against ropeless jump ropes last week, I think it's ridiculous that we coddle children so much these days. Yes, I firmly believe that there are children out there with certain learning disabilities that should definitely receive special assistance. I just don't think that society has that many learning disabled children out there. And if we do, maybe we should look into what's in the water because something is seriously wrong.

Maybe every generation says this of the generation coming up behind them, but these kids are being raised to be a bunch of whiny, entitled, self-indulgent babies and God help this country once they're in charge. That is, if they can achieve anything without their Mommies and Daddies to do their work for them.

And now I'll step down off my soap box.

Thank you for listening to the latest episode of "Diane's Politically Incorrect Tirades" presented to you by the Ropeless Jump Ropers of America.

Still alive

I just realized that I haven't posted anything on here since last Thursday. Not a whole lot has been going on. Friday was another crazy day at the office and Saturday I finished the rough draft of the yearbook before going out with Tracy and the gang for a post-St. Patty's Day mini-pub crawl. Today we've just been hanging out. This weekend was absolutely gorgeous and the kids got to run around and play outside with the dog which was great.

Other than that not much is going on. Boring, I know.

Talk about a dagger through the heart

If nothing else, I know three things in this world.

I know Jake loves me.

I also know that he's a huge Daddy's boy and would prefer Daddy over me any day of the week.

Finally, I also know that my son has absolutely no tact.

Jake (waking up): Daddy!

Me: Hey Jakey, Daddy left already. He had to go to work early.

Jake (crying): But I always wake up with Daddy.

Me: I know sweetie but Daddy had to leave early. Mommy's here though.

Jake still crying.

Me: Hey, remember a few weeks ago when Daddy went away for a few days?

Jake (sniffling): Yeah.

Me: You and me and Hannah had a great time without Daddy, right?

Jake: Yeah.

Me: And yesterday you didn't get to see Mommy at all. I had to leave before you got up and I didn't get home until after you were in bed. You did fine then, right?

Jake: Yeah, but that didn't make me cry.

Ouch.

Mom and Dad really should have given me a little brother

Just over two years ago I hired a 23-year old kid named Kegan to work for me as a runner. He only worked for me for a couple of months before he moved into the booking department but he and I remain very good friends. For the past two years I've referred to him as "the little brother I always wanted but Mom and Dad never let me have." Unfortunately Kegan was let go in the "Black Thursday" situation last week when sixteen people were laid off from our local office. The good news is he has a very promising job prospect already. The bad news is that it is in California and I'm going to miss him terribly when he moves away.

So, since my little brother is ditching me for the sunny Left Coast, I am happy to say that I have discovered a new little brother, at least for the time being. Last week I wrote about our new contractor at the office. For the past few weeks Cyril has been spending a lot of time whipping our construction project into shape and I've gotten to know him quite a bit. I've decided that he is the perfect little brother (second only to Kegan, of course). It's perfect. I make fun of him for the fact that he hurts himself golfing and for his strong Irish accent. He torments me by discovering all my little pet peeves and bringing them up any chance he gets. I've even decided that I adore his wife - who I've only met via email - and that no matter what she's right and he's wrong just to annoy him.

See, I would have made a great big sister.

Politically incorrect but at least I can jump rope

Jump ropes.

You would think that jump ropes would be a fairly innocuous subject but strangely enough it is quite the hot button topic around the local moms group lately. Apparently our school was mentioned on a local radio program in regards to the fact that our gym teacher, who is fantastic, occasionally uses ropeless jump ropes to teach the kids.

Yes, ropeless ropes. Before I dive into my feelings on the subject I'll share with you my conversation with Hannah.

Me: Hannah, what do you know about these ropeless jump ropes in gym class? Do you ever use them?

Hannah: You mean Jump Snaps?

Me: Uh, sure. Are those the jump ropes with no ropes?

Hannah: Yes.

Me: So, what are they used for?

Hannah: To practice jumping rope.

Me: But you're not really practicing jumping rope if there is no rope, right?

Hannah: I guess.

Me: So you're basically practicing jumping?

Hannah: Yeah, I guess.

Sooooo, yes, apparently our children are learning to jump rope without ropes. And this isn't because we don't have jump ropes. Or even that we can't afford jump ropes since apparently we can afford ropeless jump ropes which have handles with counters but no rope.

This is where I get a little politically incorrect.

WHAT THE HELL?

It's not jumping rope if there is no rope. The very definition of jumping ROPE is that you have to jump over a rope. But apparently some kids have their feelings hurt if they don't have the coordination to jump rope. And apparently it's better cardio for them if they don't get tripped up by the rope and have to keep stopping. I'll grant you that one but then just have them jump in place. Don't have them pretend to have a rope that they're jumping over.

And people wonder why the younger generation is so delusional.

Just to be clear, I don't REALLY want my office building to burn down

For weeks now, when the construction and water damage gets too overwhelming, I've joked that I wish the building had just burned down instead. Well, today was as close as I want to get to that reality. An employee was microwaving a burrito - one with instructions on how to microwave it no less - and managed to set it on fire and create a substantial, and I do mean substantial, amount of smoke throughout the first floor and up into the other floors. After a delightful visit from the Cambridge Fire Department we were cleared but there is a terrible, terrible stench throughout the office that will take a while to go away.

All from this innocent little guy:

Fighting back against the darkness

I feel it coming again. That dark, heavy, oppressive cloud of something. I can't identify it. I don't know what it is. I don't know how to keep it away. Nothing in my life right now is so bad - alone or together - that I can't handle it and yet there is that great big something out there.

My office building is one stress after another as it continues to flood, leak, and just plan suck the life out of me but even that isn't a huge deal. It's not my money having to pay for all the repairs. The yearbook deadline is looming but I'm so much further along than I was last year at this point that it really isn't bothering me (yet). A lot is going on with my company, and we just had double digit layoffs, but I wasn't one of them.

I have friends who are going through so much worse things right now. Infertility. The idea that they may lose their house. A nasty custody battle. Things I can't even begin to imagine and yet I'm being pulled down by something. Something. Anything. I don't know what it is and it FRUSTRATES me!!! That's the worst part. I don't know what's wrong. I can't put my finger on it. I know this stuff is minor and yet it's pulling me down into a dark pit I can't seem to climb out of. It makes me want to scream and cry and hit things and just SOMETHING!!!!

Help me......please.

It's that time of year again

My yearbook deadline is rapidly approaching and I have been spending quite a few hours at my computer this weekend. I obviously didn't look at my calendar when we scheduled our trip to California and therefore we'll be gone the week before my deadline. Of course that means I took an entire week away from myself. You know, just to make it a little more stressful.

Oops.

The Blue Rose Test

When I got married I carried a blue rose in my wedding bouquet. It was a "stone rose" that I had purchased at a festival and buried inside the real flowers of my bouquet. A few years after I got married I gave it to my friend Rachel to have at her wedding for her "something borrowed" and "something blue". Later I gave it to my cousin Kate too. I now have it back in my possession for Hannah's wedding.

Me: Did you see I got my blue rose back?

Link: Yeah.

Me: I need to go put it up in Hannah's keepsake box for her wedding someday. I suppose, if I like Jake's wife-to-be, I could let her use it too.

Link: If you don't like Jake's wife-to-be will there even be a wedding?........Or at least one we're even invited to?

Me: Good point.

Automatic response

Every day we ask Hannah how school was and she says "GREAT!" but never really gives us much detail. Today she didn't have school - I'm not sure why - but Jake did. Jake and I were in the kitchen and Hannah was in the next room playing on her computer.

Me (to Jake): How was school today?

Hannah (from the other room): GREAT!

Me: You didn't even go to school today. I wasn't talking to you.

Hannah: Oh, yeah....right.

Lucky guess

It's no secret that Jake is more of a Daddy's boy than a Momma's boy, which is why this conversation blew me away. Both Jake and I were sitting in the office on our respective computers when he asked me this question:

Jake: Mommy, do you know what I'm thinking right now?

Me: That you love your Mommy very, very much?

Jake: Yep!

Me: Wait, what? REALLY?

Jake: Yep!

My week

My mother informed me that my last post stating that I couldn't talk about what was happening made it sound like someone had died. Thank goodness that isn't the case. No one has died. But, what happened instead, is that we had double digit layoffs here at our office yesterday. So while everyone is still breathing, it definitely feels like a death in the family.

This office is fairly small and the layoffs are actually taking out over a third of our employees. We're a pretty tight family around here and these losses are catastrophic. Unfortunately there was nothing our local office could do to stop this and these decisions were handed down from corporate. My job yesterday was to go around to the people being let go and tell them they were requested in the conference room. Of course everyone knew what was going on after the first person was called in there so I became the Grim Reaper. No one wanted to see me in their office or cubical yesterday.

Some of the people that left yesterday have been here for 10, 15, or 20 years. Some of them have their entire life and personal interests invested in this company and what we do. It was gut-wrenching watching it happen and equally gut-wrenching watching everyone else mourn the loss of the friends, family, and colleagues. A lot of people were in shock yesterday. I'm sure, despite nothing they did, there is some survivor's guilt being felt today.

As for me, I've known about this for a few weeks. It's something I've had to deal with privately since it was to be kept a secret and just one more thing on top of all the chaos with the building renovations. To top it all off, one of the people being laid off was one of my dearest and closest friends in this office. He was a kid that I hired a few years ago and he quickly moved up to work in another department. Definitely a rising star but unfortunately that division is getting cut back.

Yesterday was hard but it was also a big sigh of relief for me since now it is over. It's not hanging over every ones heads anymore since the rumors of layoffs had been floating around for awhile now. I can also talk about it openly which is a huge relief. And yet, today is the hardest part for me. I feel like I'm about to cry at any moment. The layoffs are over and the contractors are almost done and while I should be relieved about both I just feel depleted of all energy and overwhelmed at the same time.

If other's are dealing with survivor's guilt I think I'm dealing with post-traumatic stress. It does feel like a war zone after all.

Silence

There is one major thing that is consuming my life this week and unfortunately I can't talk about it right now. Until then, I'm sorry for the silence.

An amazing individual

About three weeks ago my boss fired the original contractor that was working on the reconstruction of the office because of the guy's problems effectively getting us through the process with the city building inspector. It's a long story but I can sum it up by saying it was good that we got rid of him. In his place an old business contact of my boss's recommended another contractor. He was hired the next day and it was the best thing we've done in this entire process. The kid is a miracle worker and a true wonder. And yes, he's a kid. I can say that because he's in his 20's and I'm a ripe old 32.

I have never met a more ambitious - and successful - 27 year old in my entire life. He is amazing. His employees and sub-contractors respect him, he's a straight shooter, and he gets things done quickly and efficiently. He also keeps me endlessly entertained with his incredibly strong Northern Ireland accent.

I can only hope that my kids will be half as successful in life as this kid is at 27.

A very supportive boss

This week is going to be a little bit crazy at the office as we're moving ahead quickly with all the sub-contractors (electrical, heating and a/c, data wiring, and plumbing) as well as moving all the stuff back from storage. This morning as I was dealing with the moving company who was unloading the furniture I was getting terribly frustrated because nothing was marked as it should have been and it was difficult making sure that every desk, filing cabinet, bookcase, etc. got back in the correct place. I was not happy with our moving company this morning and during the few minutes I was actually sitting at my desk my boss popped his head in to drop off some mail and pick up anything I had for him.

Boss: Do you have anything for me?

Me: Other than my sheer hatred of the moving company? No.

He has been very appreciative of all that I've been having to deal with ever since the flood on New Year's Eve and even though it has had little direct affect on him he knows that it has been a huge strain on me so that made our next exchange that much more appreciated.

Me: If I strangle one of the movers before the end of the day will you post my bail money?

Boss: Oh indeed, yes.

The Master Bath - FINALLY!

We have finally finished redecorating the Master Bathroom. Everything in this room is designed around souvenirs we bought and pictures that we took when we were in Istanbul, Turkey. It all started because I wanted to design the bathroom around the six hand painted tiles that I purchased in the Grand Bazaar. Those are the ones hanging over the tub depicting a Turkish Bath (how appropriate!). You can also see in these pictures my TV that hangs over the tub, my heated towel bar, and my remote control lighting with dimmer capabilities. No wonder the kids never want to use their own bath tub anymore since they've discovered mine. It's quite a luxury to go in there, close the curtain, light a few candles, and just soak.

Leo's big trip into Boston

Today we took Leo into Boston with us when we went to do Hannah's photo essay. Despite the fact that he is truly a country dog - and bit afraid of cars - he did great in the "big city".

Hannah's 2nd photo essay

Today we went into Boston for Hannah to complete her 2nd photo essay for the 3rd grade Massachusetts unit. Three times a year she has to take a picture of herself with a cultural or historical Massachusetts landmark. Last November we did the House of Seven Gables in Salem, MA and this time we did the Irish Famine Memorial in Boston. Hannah and I are reading a book about the Potato Famine right now so we figured that would be a good fit.

And then we took a cute picture of the two of us together....

Meeting Baby Owen

Two things:

1) Owen looks a little worried about Jake holding him.

2) Owen looks exactly like his Grandpa Benson. But his Grandpa Benson hates to be compared with my Grandpa Benson so I guess we won't be calling him that.

Everyone is a clown

Me: Hey Link, can you grab me some of those white trash bags so I can go start shoveling out the garbage in my car.

Link: Sure, do you think 10 will be enough?

Me: Hardy har har. My car isn't that bad.

Link: Ok, how about we start with three?

(Editor's note: It ended up taking less than one. So THERE Mr. Smarty Pants.)

A crystal ball

The kids have been playing a lot of Webkinz on the computer lately and the more they do the more I truly think I'm seeing a glimpse into the future. First it started with Jake asking Hannah to come over and help him with his "money problems". Then last week Hannah saved enough of her Webkinz cash to buy him a bathroom (sink, tub, and toilet) as a gift. Tonight he was whining that he didn't have enough money to go on vacation. Hannah, of course, got to go on vacation and when she did, Jake snuck over to use her oven because not only can he not afford to go on vacation, he also can't afford to buy himself an oven.

Typical.

Meeting Owen

Yesterday I got to go and meet my cousin Kate for lunch. She and her husband had their first baby, Owen, on February 8th and this is the first time I got to meet him. He is one unbelievably cute little thing. It always amazes me to hold a baby that little and try to wrap my mind around the fact that at one time my kids were that small. Heck, when Hannah was born she was quite a bit smaller than that. I love how they do that little "baby stretch" where they screw up their face, pucker their lips, bring their shoulders up to their ears and try to push their arms up over their head. It's like they're saying "Oh boy, this life of just sleeping, pooping, eating, and crying is SO unbelievably exhausting."

Kate and I had a nice visit while I got to hold Owen before we headed over to grab some lunch. Her husband is attending Harvard Business School and they are living in a small apartment on campus so we headed over to the "cafeteria" for lunch. I put cafeteria in quotes because it was a pretty swank dining hall that we went to. Those people at Harvard are living the life.

It was great to visit with Kate and this weekend I'll take Link and the kids back with me so they can see Owen as well and hopefully Kate's husband Jim will be around too so that we can visit with him as well. Even though they live nearby we very rarely see them which is kind of sad. Hopefully now that they're living on the Harvard campus, which is near my work, I'll get to see more of them. Before that they were living north of the city.

I absolutely love seeing Owen but man, it makes me glad that Lincoln and I are done having kids. For the most part we're past the hard stuff - until the teenage years that is - and we have two kids who can articulate what they are thinking, don't go to the bathroom in their pants, and sleep throught the night. What more could we ask for?

What a great feeling

In the past three days I have put in 38 hours of my usual 40 hour week with no end in sight but I have been so productive and I feel great! It's 11:15 p.m. right now and I'm just leaving the office but I finally got shit off my "to do" list that has been on there since August. My in-box is no longer threatening to fall over on me and the piles of documents that I usually have to step over in order to get in and out of my office are neatly tucked to the side and ready for filing.

I'm loving this feeling.

A little political humor

Funny or Die's Presidential Reunion from Will Ferrell

Coming back into the light

Recently I have felt like there has been a heavy, oppressive, dark....."thing".....weighing me down. I have been struggling with some depression and have just felt completely overwhelmed with work, life, and responsibilities. I can normally cope with stress pretty well but this was just something I couldn't shake. I couldn't articulate how I felt and I didn't even know how to ask for help or what to ask for. Luckily I have a wonderful husband who has stood by me through all my craziness and was always ready to step in if I had a breakdown. I also have an incredibly wonderful friend in Rachel who surprised me by sending me a spa certificate to cheer me up and help me relax. I really couldn't ask for better family or friends.

Things are still a little crazy around here but for the first time in months I finally feel like I'm coming out of the darkness. Things are under control at work and I feel like I have a better handle on things there. Lincoln and I have also finally started to move forward and make progress with the new garage. My responsibilities for the PTO are starting to gear up but I'm not in panic mode yet.

I've been very lucky in the fact that I've been able to work from home quite a bit while my boss was on vacation a few weeks ago and then to work from home last week when the kids were sick. Taking the long commute and the constant interruptions out of my day really help to keep me relaxed and less stressed out. My assistant is fantastic and has been picking up an unbelievable amount of slack for me as well. Unfortunately I was sick too, which didn't help, but I'm feeling much better. Since the middle of February I've also cut out soda, alcohol, and junk food and I'm feeling much better physically. My joints are hurting less with less stress and I'm starting to sleep better without all the crazy, wacky dreams that were keeping me tossing and turning at night.

I don't know what caused my recent depression and I don't know what I did, specifically, to start climbing my way out of it, but I know that I'm working my way back to my normal self. The last few months were scary for me and were definitely worse than any mild bouts of depression or self doubt that I've had in the past. I can't imagine what people that suffer from severe depression go through and I wasn't even at the point yet where I needed medication - although I seriously thought about going to see a doctor during my darkest weeks.

I know there are people out there in the world that have far more serious problems then me. I'm very lucky to have a job, a wonderful family, two beautiful kids, a roof over my head, and no serious major issues that Lincoln and I can't conquer if we work together but it was scary. It was dark and overwhelming and I felt like that heavy cloud of depression was slowly smothering me. I hope this is the end of it and that nothing like this ever happens again but I know that if it does I have a wonderful family and group of friends to support me.

I love you all.

Clearance Sale - Aisle 5

Check out what we found on sale at Home Depot yesterday! Last one available.