Horrible wife? Or 1950's husband?

Lincoln's birthday is this Saturday. We actually have a thing to go to on Friday night and a block party down the street on Saturday afternoon. I asked him over the weekend if he would like to have his family over for dinner or if it would be too much to do over the weekend. He seemed rather non-committal so I figured we'd figure out something over the course of the week. Yesterday morning Lincoln dropped the kids off at his parents house and came home for this conversation.

Link: So my mom is cooking lasagna to bring over Saturday night.

Me: Oh, okay. So we're doing dinner?

Link: Yep.

Me: Cool.

On my drive to the office I figured I'd call his brother and sister-in-law that afternoon to invite them down for dinner. Before that could happen Lincoln and I had lunch together since he was working in Cambridge for the day.

Link: So Di is bringing the cake on Saturday.

Me: Huh? You called and invited them already?

Link: Yep, I just figured I'd do it.

Me: Oh. Okay. I was going to you know.

Link: And my Mom said she's bring a salad too.

Me: Oh, okay. I guess I'll make br...

Link: And she said while she's at the store she'll just get the garlic bread too.

Me: So, what am I providing for your birthday dinner?

Link: We'll be providing a clean house.

Seriously? Am I the worst wife or what? Notice he said "we'll" be providing the clean house. The funny thing is I'm glad that I don't have to cook or anything but still, I could have at least called his brother and sister-in-law or thrown a few loaves of garlic bread in the oven. Sometimes I feel like a 1950's husband. I just show up after work in the evening, kiss the kids and the hubby hello, and sit down to eat the wonderful dinner that my loving husband has prepared. Maybe for his birthday I'll buy him a nice set of pearls to wear while he's vacuuming.

Oh wait, vacuuming is one of the few household things I do! I guess I do have a purpose.

Not good.

Lincoln and I have been out working on the pool deck all day and have actually been fairly productive. Things were going smoothly until we noticed the drill was gone. Where had it gone you ask? In the pool of course.

First thought: Crap, are we going to have to buy a new drill?

Answer: Most likely not. Once we fished it out it still worked. Will it work once it is dry, who knows? At this point, who cares?

And why do we not care? Because the drill tore a gash - not just a hole, but a gash - in the lining of the pool. As the water was rushing out of the pool I had the idea - THANK GOD - to put a "stopper" in it to slow it down until we could drain the rest of the water out of the pool. If the water goes out through the hole it will eat away all the sand and dirt under the pool making it that much more difficult to fix. If we can pump it out with the sump pump we can at least salvage the bottom of the pool. Lincoln got a hand towel, wrapped it around some PVC pipe and stuck it on top of the hole. For now it's holding.

Once we managed to stop the water from leaking we started pumping out the pool. That takes quite a bit of time so I headed in to do some quick research on whether or not we were going to have to replace the pool liner or if we could repair it. Luckily it looks like we can repair it even though it's on the bottom of the pool. We have a couple of solutions that can be done under water.

Under water? Yes, that means I'm about to jump in the 55 degree pool full of leaves and dead bugs (the filter has been turned off for a week or two) and do a little late summer swimming. Lincoln is now - finally - on his way to Ace Hardware to pick up the stuff that will hopefully work to repair the pool. If it doesn't we're really screwed and will have to replace the whole thing. Not cheap.

My biggest frustration? The fact that when I came in to do the research, and went back out to tell Lincoln we had an underwater option, he didn't jump in his truck and run to Ace before the pool was completely destroyed. No, he decided to disassemble his tent from the camp out last night. Really? REALLY? Not quite as important as trying to fix the pool before irreparable damage is done or before THE SUN SETS and I have to get in the 55 degree pool with no sun to at least pretend to warm me. No, he had decided to disassemble the tent while I was inside doing the research and since he thinks differently then I do he decides to finish one project before moving onto the next one. I tend to move to THE MOST URGENT ONE even if it means leaving the tent half up and half down.

My husband is perfect 99.999999999999% of the time and it is incredibly, incredibly rare for us to have an argument. I am happy to say we didn't have an argument over this. And I'm even more proud to say that I didn't take the pole from the tent and jam it through his head.

Hitched or Ditched....I choose hitched

Tonight was the first episode of Hitched or Ditched.  It's a new reality show where couples are given 7 days to decide whether or not they're getting married.  Basically someone shows up on their doorstep and gives them an invitation to their own wedding and they have to show up that day and either say "I do" or "I don't".

Tonight's couple had been together for 4 years.  Apparently they fought a lot and broke up a lot but always got back together.  There was the usual jealousy, "my parents hate you", "my friends think we're crazy" sort of shit but after 4 years, including living together, you have to wonder if they are truly right for each other.  Lincoln's brother and his wife fight like cats and dogs and yet after 20 years of marriage they still look madly in love with each other when they think others aren't watching.

But I digress....

Lincoln and I have decided (read: I have decided) that each week after this show we will renew our wedding vows. Thank God we never had this drama in our relationship.  Lincoln and I met in August 1999.   We officially moved in together in October 1999 (and we had barely spent a night apart before that).  We joined our bank accounts in January 2000, got engaged on our 6-month anniversary in February 2000, and married in October 2000.  We found out on Christmas Eve 2000 that we were pregnant with Hannah.  Never once did I have a single doubt about marrying him**.  I was only 23 years old but it never even crossed my mind that it was even a remotely questionable act.  I asked him tonight if he ever had any doubt and he said "no" too.  The only person who seemed to have doubts was my sister Denise who said to my parents, "They can't get married....they haven't even had a fight yet."  My mother responded with "Could you live with Diane and not have had a fight?".......I still don't know how I feel about that comment.  LOL.

Maybe I'm just a "non-conflict" sort of gal but I've never understood those relationships where people fight all the time.  I can sort of understand a relationship where people have broken up once and gotten back together but more than once seems like a deal breaker to me.  Lincoln and I don't fight.  I can count on one hand the number of times we've had a real "major" fight.  One was over gun control, one was over whether or not our children could move back after college into an apartment over our garage (which still hasn't been built yet) and the other was over the government's involvement in equal pay for women.  That's it.  Three "major" fights in 10 years.  I just can't imagine fighting all the time.

I'm a TV addict, as many of you know, and this new summer season doesn't look very promising so Hitched or Ditched may have to become my new favorite.  If nothing else, it definitely makes me appreciate how wonderful I have it with Lincoln.

**When Lincoln and I were engaged we went down to NYC to visit my friend Chad.  That night, at PJ Carney's, we got into a huge discussion about gun control.  I remember going to the bathroom that night, looking at my engagement ring, taking it off, and wondering to myself "Do I really want to marry a man that thinks that way about gun control?"  I obviously put the ring back on and never looked back again.....but I still don't agree with him on gun control.  For those of you that made it to our wedding, you'll remember that in his vows he promised "never to bring up the 2nd amendment when we've been drinking." 

On an entirely unrelated topic, that is also the night I bought a beer for the bodyguard that survived Princess Diana's fatal car crash, Trevor Rees-Jones.  I've often wondered over the years if it was appropriate to buy a beer for a man who survived a drunk driving accident but it was he, in fact, that was standing at the bar drinking when I did it so I suppose it was okay.  And he did come over to say "thank you".  

But once again, I digress.....