Presidential power

Tonight we were having a fairly casual dinner. Jake was making his hot dogs, Hannah was eating what she had made, and Link and I were eating fondue. Because everyone kept coming and going I was reading my book while we were at the table.

Hannah: I thought you said we're not allowed to read at the table.

Me: You're right, I did. But I'm the mommy so I can break the rules sometimes. When you're a mommy you can do the same thing.

(pause)

Hannah: Well what about Daddy? Doesn't he have any say?

(I look at Lincoln)

Link (laughing): Not really.

Me: Daddy is sort of like the Vice President. He has a title but no real power.

Radio Silence

I don't know where to start.

I have lots of things to say. I drive around every day and think of things I want to talk about on my blog but for some reason when I get to an actual computer I have nothing to say.

And my mother must be seriously freaking out by now. When I was in college if I didn't call every 3-4 days she would call me to make sure I was alive. That has continued well into my 30's and yet I haven't talked to her more than two or three times in the past three weeks or so.

When I don't talk to my mom on a regular basis my dad calls under the pretense of "you should call your mother" however, in this day and age of email, he sometimes just emails me and says "are you alive?"

I am alive.

And I'm fine....usually.

I'm certainly not having the trouble I was having when I was in the Nut Hut but I still have days that are worse than others.

And yet over all most days are good.

But I still don't call my mother.

Or blog.

I don't know what it is. It's like a mental block. I think about doing both but I just don't do them.

Why?

Who the hell knows.

This entire process has been a learning experience for me and everyone around me. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I don't know what the fuck to expect. But I do appreciate those around me giving me the chance to figure it out.

One of these days all the pent up blog postings in my head will come pouring out and you guys will be saying "Enough already!!!"

Until then, thank you for letting me deal with this on my own.

I love you all.

A lesson in joint checking

Jake: Mommy, since it's Daddy's birthday today YOU have to buy lunch.

Me: Okay.

(later)

Hannah: When it's my birthday I'm going to have Mommy buy lunch.

Jake: When it's my birthday I'm going to have Mommy buy lunch too.

Me: What you guys don't realize is that Mommy and Daddy share the same account.

Jake: Wait, what?

Me: Basically we both put all our money in the same piggy bank and either one of us can take money out to spend on things.

Jake: But what if you and Daddy don't agree on what to buy at the store?

Me: Then we talk it out like two grown-ups......and then Mommy wins.

Jealousy...not depression

I realize I haven't posted since Wednesday but that's not because I've been in another downhill slide. In fact, I haven't felt this good in a long time. It has just been a crazy week.

Thursday night I went to a concert with my friend Tracy and my little sis Shani. We had a fantastic time but it was definitely a late night.

Friday I attended a 40th birthday party for Tanya (a wonderful woman who I met through Tracy) which was also a late night.

Saturday we had Link's family over for a birthday dinner. His mother's birthday is on the 20th so we usually celebrate the two of them together. That, again, was a late night although not nearly as late as Thursday and Friday.

Today was Link's actual birthday so I got up early to put in the egg bake that I had made last night and then the kids and I served Lincoln breakfast in bed. The best part of that was Jake asking why Mommy got breakfast in bed every weekend and Daddy only got breakfast in bed on his birthday. I'm sure you're wondering why Link doesn't get breakfast in bed on Father's Day but that's because we're usually down on the Vineyard with a bunch of other families that weekend.

Now to the jealousy part.

One of my favorite shows of all time is the Amazing Race. It is currently in its 17th season and I have watched every single one of them. As much as I would love, love, LOVE to be on the Amazing Race at any point in time, there are only two times that have been absolutely green with envy over what they get to do on the show.

The first was when they got to go on an African safari and feed raw meat to the lions. That is an absolute dream of mine. As in, if I get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow we are maxing out every credit card we have and going to Africa so that I can feed raw meat to the lions.

The second time was tonight. The teams had to go to Sweden and race a pack of sled dogs. I would love to do that. They seemed like they were having so much fun. I could pass on the time they had to run a mile or so in their underwear in Russia, I could pass on eating the live octopus that stuck it's tentacles to their tongue as they tried to swallow, but man oh man, I would give anything to have done those two challenges.

So, the moral of the story is.....

Not depressed, just busy and enjoying life again (thank God, Buddha, Allah & Vishnu!)

And I'm very, very, very jealous of feeding raw meat to wild lions and forcing sled dogs to drag me through the Swedish country side.

I seem to have misplaced my handbook

I've now been at my job for 8 years as of 10/30/10. In those eight years my co-workers have mostly consisted of married men, with or without children, one married woman with a grown daughter, one married woman with no kids, many single men and women, and any number of gays and lesbians. Very few of my female co-workers have been married much less have children. That has changed a bit over the years as a few of them have gotten married and started having families but they're all "newer" moms than me.

Why am I writing about the demographic of my co-workers?

Because it cracks me up when they call me up or pop in my office to ask me a question that "a mom would know" such as "how can I tell if this is still fresh?" or "do you have static guard (or a sewing kit) in your purse?" This is often followed up with "I figured you would know (or possess the item) since you're a Mom". One person - who later became a mom herself - once said to me, "Isn't that just something all Moms know?"

I laughed and said that I obviously never received the Mom Handbook.

The funny this is, I still call my mom for advice on how to know if something is still fresh or how long something should be cooked or when should I go to the doctor. You get the idea.

It's true that Mom always seems to have the answer but I personally seem to have misplaced my handbook. Or maybe I never received one.

I should ask Mom about that.

Memories and Regrets

Over the last few months I have worried about how my depression has affected my kids in many different ways. I must admit, one of those ways is the fact that I haven't been blogging about my kids and the funny things they do and say. I love going back and choosing a random month from the archives and reading about something the kids did that I had completely forgotten about. The fact that so many memories haven't been recorded in the past few months makes me incredibly sad. I know that despite the misery of the past few months we've had some great times as well. At best I manage to write up a quick recap on Facebook but I haven't committed much to keeping up with the blog. I just haven't had it in me and that makes me sad.

A few weeks ago, during one of our regularly scheduled Friday night Mexican dinners with my friend Tracy, I somehow started thinking about how when Jake was first born Hannah used to always want to play "baby on the doorstep." It was a big elaborate game we would play where she would pretend that she found Jake on the doorstep and we had to bring him in, decide to keep him and then I would always suggest naming him Henry which she always rejected. That game went on for months and yet it was something I haven't thought about in years. I didn't have the blog back then so of course I never wrote it down anywhere and I'm glad that I can do it now. It does make me sad though to think of all those other memories that I never recorded the past few months.

Another memory that I had forgotten about until that night was "Hecuba Buttmunchkin". When Hannah was little we always used to call her buttmunchkin (and still do sometimes). I used to tease her that her real name was Hecuba Buttmunchkin and she would get so mad at me. I told her that it was what was on her official birth certificate and she wouldn't be able to convince me otherwise. It used to get her so riled up and always made me laugh.

You always think, in the moment, that you'll never forget that funny joke or special thing that the kids did, but you do. Even when it's a game you played for months and months and you figure you'll be playing that same game until they're old and gray, you don't realize until years later when you're sitting around eating enchiladas that one day that game just stopped.

And that's just depressing (pun intended).

Ten years

Today is our 10th wedding anniversary. The last 10 years have gone by in the blink of an eye. It's so hard to believe. Lincoln and I often do up celebrations like this in grand style. Any birthday ending in "0" is cause for a celebration. Any anniversary divisible by 5 is also a big deal. For our 5th wedding anniversary we went to Moab, Utah and visited Sand Arches National Park. For our 10th dating anniversary last year we went away for the weekend to a lovely hotel and spa with a fireplace in the room as well as champagne and roses. So you would think that we would do our 10th wedding anniversary up big, right?

Not so much.

Our big plan for today was for both of us to take the day off and veg out all day watching movies and not getting out of bed unless we wanted to....just like back when we were dating and first married. You know those Saturdays when you just stay in bed all day and pop in a movie and do nothing at all? That was our plan for today.

Of course it's hard to stay in bed and veg all day when we had to get Hannah on the morning bus, do the grocery shopping for dinner tonight, get my overdue inspection done on my car, and get Jake on the afternoon kindergarten bus. That left us with just over 2 hours to crawl back in bed and watch a movie before rushing out the door to meet the bus and take Hannah to sewing lessons and then coming home and making dinner.

We may not have gotten to veg out and pretend we were newly married like we had wanted to - and we may have followed dinner with an exciting towel and underwear folding laundry session - but it was still a perfect day.

I wouldn't have wanted to do it any other way.

Best Friends Forever

BFFs

It's a term that is thrown around pretty casually these days....best friends forever....but it is one that has given me much thought over the years.

When I lived in Iowa I had many close friends. My "BFFs" were Rachel and Kelley. I also had incredibly close friends in Shannon, Renee, and Julie. I would consider Rachel and Kelley as my Iowa BFFs even though the three of us never hung out together. It was either me and Rachel or me and Kelley.

When I was two months shy of eleven years old we moved to the suburbs of Seattle. Out there, if I had to pick one (or more) BFFs, it would definitely have been Breanne and Bryan.

Then, after 9th grade, we moved to Arkansas. In Arkansas, hands down, my BFFs were Dawn and Stephanie. I had many other close friends as well...Stefani, Ricky, Scott, etc....but Dawn and Steph were my BFFs.

In college I was very close with Becky and Molly and their friends but I would say my BFF was Carrie. I was also very close with Cyndi but unfortunately we didn't have as much time to get to know each other as we could have.

After I moved to Massachusetts my closest friends were the Walkers. Deb and Michael are much older than me (Deb was my 10th grade teacher) and their daughters, who are my most beloved little sisters, were much younger than me.

I met Lincoln two months after I moved here and not only did I fall in love with him but he also became my best friend. I had other friends through work but I never really hung out with anyone on a regular basis. For the first half of our marriage that was certainly enough. And had nothing changed, that would certainly have continued to be enough.

But then I met Tracy.

I met Tracy the spring before Hannah started kindergarten. That fall our kids were in the same kindergarten class and since then we have been inseparable. She is definitely a BFF.

So where does that leave my other BFFs?

And that is a question that has plagued me for years.

What defines a BFF?

Someone that you're friends with forever? It is in the title after all? BFF stands for Best Friend Forever.

But what if you drop the second "F" and just had Best Friend.

What does Best Friend mean?

Is it your one and only best friend in the entire world? If you had to save one friend from drowning on the Titanic who would it be? Or can you have multiple best friends?

So let's review.....

Rachel: My mother babysat her while she was pregnant with me. I have literally known her since I was born. I am still in constant contact with her and think of her more as a sister than as a friend. My youngest childhood memories are all of her and she (and her husband) are the godparents to Jake.

Kelley: Ahhh....my later younger years. Kelley was older (and wiser). We had such good times together and I am so glad that she was a part of my life. After we moved to Seattle we kept contact through junior high and most of high school but drifted apart a little over the years. She and I were each other's personal assistants at our weddings but since then we haven't been in touch much. I think about her often but unfortunately don't get to talk to her other than on Facebook (although I'm hopeful to see her in a few weeks when I'm back in the Midwest).

Breanne: Another great friend. She and I were inseparable through much of junior high and early high school. Unfortunately we drifted apart after we moved to Arkansas. I greatly value her friendship and I'm glad we've reconnected over Facebook. She was a huge part of my teen years.

Bryan: Ahhh....this is a tricky one. Bryan and I met in 6th grade but didn't become good friends until junior high. After that he was my rock. My everything. The one I could turn to with any sort of problem. I could confess any secret to him. One wiggle of his ears would solve any problem that I had and he was the sweetest, most wonderful person. When I moved away to Arkansas he gave me an old jacket of his. When I called him crying about how miserable I was after we first moved he told me to put on his jacket and pretend that it was him hugging me. I can't tell you how much that helped me through things. Despite the distance Bryan and I continued to be best friends throughout high school and most of college. We attempted dating in college and while it was wonderful it was probably for the best that it didn't work out. That still didn't stop us from being best friends. Whenever Bryan introduced a girlfriend to me she was instantly bitchy because of our close relationship. My boyfriends were also threatened by my relationship with Bryan.

When I first moved to Boston I briefly dated a guy named James. He was nice. I think we went on about three dates. And then one night he threw a hissy fit because I was talking to Bryan on the phone. Well that was the end of that. A few months later I started dating Lincoln and we went on a trip to Niagara Falls, Canada. I remember sitting with him at an outside table at a restaurant and telling him I knew we had a great relationship because he was the first guy ever that I would be willing to give up my relationship with Bryan. Luckily he never asked that of me and when we got engaged he actually planned on asking Bryan to be one of his groomsmen even though he had never met him just because Bryan was so important to me. I told him that wasn't necessary but I have never forgotten that gesture.

Unfortunately Bryan got married a year after us and about two years later he informed me that "since his marriage he was re-evaluating his friendships" and thought it best that we not talk anymore. I haven't spoken to Bryan since May 14, 2003.

I still count him as one of the most influential friends in my life.

Dawn and Stephanie: You can't separate one from the other. Dawn and Steph were my BFFs Junior and Senior year of high school in Arkansas. I can't say enough about them except that they made my life wonderful and made me love living there when nothing else could. I had other great friends there - Sheri, Andrea, Scott, Ricky, and so on and so on - but they were the best. I've unfortunately lost touch with Dawn over the years. Mostly because she's not on email and Facebook, but I'm still in touch with Steph. I haven't seen either of them in years but I still count them amongst my BFFs.

Carrie: I had many great friends in college but my BFF would definitely have been Carrie. I don't know what I would have done without her. I can't put into words how I feel about her but she was a wonderful, funny, perfect part of my college experience.....so much so that she was part of my wedding party ten years ago. Unfortunately, once again, we've drifted apart over the years.

Tracy: Tracy. What can I say about Tracy? We met when our kids were in kindergarten together and we've been inseparable ever since. I have her listed under "family" in my phone groupings and people often mistake us for sisters. She has a standing invitation to Friday Night Mexican night and a key to our house she can use anytime. The treehouse is pretty much hers whenever Mom and Dad aren't visiting. She is definitely my BFF.

And here is where I get confused. BFF is a term that is easily thrown around but "best" friend seems to me like it should be singular. Who is my one best, best, bestest friend in the entire world?

Well, that's a tough one.

In a day-t0-day "who would you want to call up and hang out with" way, I would totally say Tracy. We do everything together.

In a "who has been your one true constant friend for the past 33 years and the one person you would be devastated without" way, I would totally say Rachel.

In a "God-damn it, why is his wife such a horrific bitch?" sort of way, I would say Bryan. But even with that he wouldn't win out over the others.

So.....

In a tsunami, or the sinking of the Titanic, who would I choose to save after my 33 years of friends in 5 states? I would have to say, I would go down trying to save both Rachel and Tracy. But if we had only one floatation device I would give it to Rachel. Tracy and I would just have to hang on and hope a boat arrived soon.

The battle continues....but I think I'm finally winning

It has been a rough few months as I battle depression for the first time in my life. I've been taking a leave of absence from work which has been very helpful in allowing me to get things sorted out. My medication seems to be at a good spot these days and today was my first full day back at work. I have to say, it feels good to be back.

New season, new color

SPRING / SUMMER:



AUTUMN/WINTER:


And a picture that was just too cute not to post:

Okay, seriously, WHAT are we going to do with this kid

If you haven't already read about Jake's punishment this morning click here before reading this post.

This kid is certainly working all the angles on this punishment. It's almost scary how creative he is. I can see a career as a defense attorney in his future.

Jake: Can I watch TV at Grandma's house?

Me: No.

Jake: But it's not our TV.

Me: Doesn't matter. It's still TV.

Jake: What can I have to drink?

Me: White milk or water.

(pause)

Jake: So, I can still have regular milk?

Me: Yes.

Jake: Ok. Then I'll have chocolate for dessert. You know, chocolate in a wrapper.

Me: Ummm....not necessarily.

Jake: Why not?

Me: You'd still have to have permission to have chocolate for dessert and the way you're going that isn't going to happen.

Jake: Can I use my computer?

Me: Yes, we didn't ban you from that....yet.

Jake: Ok.

(pause)

Jake: Can I watch YouTube videos on my computer?

Me: No.

Jake: Why?

Me: Because it's too much like TV.

Jake: But it's not like TV. It's smaller. And on the computer.

What are we going to do with this kid?

This morning Lincoln and Jake walked Hannah up to the bus stop. When they came back to the house Jake came into the room and confessed to me that he had been thirsty and since Hannah had a water bottle and he didn't he punched her. WHAT? Apparently, while she had it up to her mouth, he punched the bottom of the bottle so that it went into her teeth. Overall she wasn't really hurt but of course it was sore and she started to cry.

When Link and Jake got back to the house, and after Jake's confession, Jake was sent to his room to come up with what he thought was a suitable punishment while Daddy and I discussed it.

Jake (calling from his room down the hall): I know what my punishment should be!

Link: What?

Jake: How about no books read to me at bedtime for three days?

Link (shaking his head no at me): No Jake. That's not good enough.

(pause)

Jake: Well, that's all that I've got.

(Thank god he was in the other room because this is when I buried my face and started to laugh uncontrollably.)

Link: How about no TV all weekend?

Jake: I thought about that but then my brain said "no".

(More uncontrollable laughter.)

In the end, due to the severity of the crime, he received a four part punishment. No TV until Monday. No chocolate milk until Monday (he can have white milk or water). He has to clean the kids playroom all by himself with no help from Hannah (they usually have to do it together) and he's not allowed to whine or complain while he does it. And finally, he doesn't get to have Mommy's "best ever" Mac 'n Cheese that he had requested for lunch today.

Still alive

Wow, it has been two and a half weeks since I've posted last. Is anyone still out there?

So, let's see, what has happened in those past two weeks?

Oh.....

Right.....

I committed myself - at my doctor's suggestion - to a psychiatric hospital.

The good news is, it was one of the top three psych hospitals in the country with such famous alumni as Sylvia Plath, John Nash, Steven Tyler, and pretty much the entire Taylor family including James Taylor (at least according to Wikipedia).

So I spent roughly 48 hours in a locked facility that, once admitted, I wasn't allowed to leave without a doctor's approval. And if I wanted to force said approval I had to put it in writing and then they had three business days to approve my discharge or petition the court to keep me there.

Wow.

That's some serious business.

So how did I end up at McLean?

Well, it all started by chewing on the inside of my lip.

Which evolved into me biting on my tongue until it was so sore I could barely taste my food.

Which then evolved into me using a scissors to scratch - not cut - a couple dozen marks on my left arm. Some drew blood, most didn't, but it didn't matter. It looked like my arm lost a battle against 100 angry kittens.

And all that got me a round trip ticket to the Nut Hut.

Luckily I was the least nuttiest nut in the nut hut and I was released after 48 hours. I didn't spend much time with the doctors or attend a lot of therapy sessions but I think it did the trick none the less. I like to think of it as the "Scared Straight" program for crazy people. Because as much as I know I needed the help - and the adjustments they made to my meds were possibly life saving - the worst part was knowing that I could lose my freedom, my ability to see my kids whenever I wanted to, and that there were people - of all ages - that have it a lot worse off then me.

So now I'm home. I've had a really good week and I'm starting to feel like myself again. Am I cured? No. But when I start to feel overwhelmed I sit down, think about what is bothering me and why, and come up with a game plan to tackle it so that I never, ever end up back there.

I'm still alive

Wow. This is the longest I have ever gone without posting something on the blog.

Yes, I am still alive.

Hannah and Mom flew to Boston and arrived on August 8th. It's so great to have Hannah back and I'm so glad that Mom is here. It was fun showing her the apartment and she has really gotten into making it her own. As much as I have always loved having my parents visit it's nice (for both of us, I'm sure) that she can retreat up to her space if she wants to get away and in the mornings we don't all feel like we're stepping on each other's toes trying to get ready.

Dad arrived in Massachusetts on Monday but won't actually be down to see the house and stay with us until tomorrow. He is teaching up at Ft. Devens for a few days and then will come join us for the next week.

My birthday last Thursday was very nice. I had a nice dinner with Link and the kids, Mom, and Link's parents. Unfortunately, for the first time in my life, this depression that I'm suffering from made me not want to celebrate my birthday. I ALWAYS celebrate my birthday. Heck, I celebrate my entire birthday MONTH. And it wasn't because it was my birthday that I was depressed, it was just a bad couple of days for me.

I'm actually out on a leave of absence from work right now for the next month or two to hopefully help me get back on an even keel. Everything was just getting too overwhelming and I've decided to take a step back for awhile and get thing straightened out. I still see a great psychiatrist weekly and we're working together to find a good medicine combination for me.

I may not write on here as often as I used to. There are a couple sure signs that I'm slipping into a bad spell: not blogging, not opening the mail, and not reading my email. Last week, on my birthday, I had 64 unread emails. That is incredibly unusual for me.

So please don't forget me. Please check back every now and then. I hope to be back to my usual self sometime very, very soon.

God, I hope so.

5 years

Five years ago this coming December I was out on maternity leave with Jake. I am now about to take a leave of absence from work to help me deal with my depression. My first real absence from work since Jake was born.

Tonight, when Jake fell asleep on the couch, all long limbs and stretched out body, it knocked me on my ass just how quickly these past five years have gone by. The last time I was on leave from work he was a tiny infant, nursing and sleeping all day long. Now he's tall, handsome, outgoing, sometimes annoying, and all around hilarious.

What a difference five years make.

It's time for a step back

I haven't written much about my battle with depression on the blog. I haven't even mentioned it since the end of June to be exact. And those of you that read this blog regularly, you've obviously noticed I don't post nearly as often as I used to either. Unfortunately, despite a supply of pills and a great psychiatrist, this battle is one I'm slowly losing....for now.

I feel like I'm broken and I don't know how to fix it.

I do feel like I'm in good hands with my doctor though and I know that Lincoln and my family and friends will be with me through it all but it's still a tough time. As someone who also once suffered from depression told me, "it will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better." That's what I'm hanging all my hopes on.

Today I spoke with my bosses about taking a leave of absence from work. I need time away from the office to get away from the stress there and try to get stuff in my personal life and around the house in order. I just feel like there is so much piling up that I'm going to get buried under it all and it makes me feel like I'm suffocating. After I spent last Thursday, in my pajamas, at my shrink's office, I knew it was time to ask for some time off work.

I talked with my bosses today and they both immediately agreed to this new situation. They've been wonderfully understanding through this whole process and I couldn't ask for anything more from them.

I told Lincoln, and my mother as well, that you can tell when I'm slipping into a bad spot. I stop answering emails, I stop opening the mail, and I stop blogging. Those are the "superficial" signs of my mood. I think the eyes that won't stop crying, the lack of showering, and the long periods curled up by myself in the bedroom staring at the TV are two clues that Link sees way too often.

My mom is coming out next Sunday and staying for two and a half weeks. I've asked her for help getting my life back together but I told her I need to be able to walk away and hide when I feel like it. I know she'll be very understanding even though it will be frustrating to her. It's hard for anyone to understand when they haven't been through it before. Heck, it's hard for me to understand. And like I told Mom, I'm learning my way through this too so just follow my lead. I'm just glad she's going to be here. As wonderful as Link is, sometimes I just want my Mommy.

I am now an official New Englander

Last Saturday night Lincoln and I were invited to my boss's 30th wedding anniversary party. It was a traditional New England clam bake and while I didn't try any clams (or oysters), I did try lobster. Considering I don't eat seafood of any kind I thought this was a HUGE step. It wasn't too bad. I wouldn't rush out and eat it again but I'm glad I can finally say I've tried it.

Lincoln isn't a big lobster fan either so we decided that we would share one. When you go through the line you can stop at a station where a man in a big white apron takes a huge knife to crack your lobster in strategic spots. That was sort of crazy to watch.

Luckily we sat next to a very nice lady who eats lobster all the time. She taught me how to crack open the tail and get the meat out. She also showed me how to remove the "poop line". And yes, that's exactly what it sounds like.

The first picture below is our lobster in its entirety, although a little banged up by the man with the hatchet, on Link's plate. The second picture is of my plate with the lobster tail only. I love the fact that I had lobster, which is very New England, and corn on the cob, which of course is very Iowan, on my plate.

Quality Dining Experience

Me: There are some very stubborn chunks of Velveeta that just won't melt in my dip.....Probably because it's not real cheese.

Link: Yeah, what temperature does it take to melt plastic?

Jake's first sleepover AND his first vacation away from us

Diane (my sister-in-law, not me): So, we thought Jake could spend the night with us and then go up to Maine with us for the weekend.

Me: Huh?

Diane: And no, before you ask, I'm not drunk. I'm perfectly sober and making this offer.

Me: You want to take Jake for the weekend? But you're taking him next weekend when we're out of town. Then you'd have him both weekends in a row.

Diane: I know.

Me: Are you sure you're not drunk?

Single again....together

Hannah is in Seattle for 4 weeks with Grandma and Grandpa Lentz. Lincoln's sister-in-law, Diane, volunteered to take Jake to Maine for the weekend with her and his cousin Kayla.

We're alone.

With no kids.

Alone.

On one hand, it's exciting to think how much we can get done around the house and in the apartment. No kid to stop and feed. No kid to entertain. Nothing. Just us. Freedom to work and work and work.

OR......

Lay in bed and do nothing. Spend hours watching movies and not having to clean the house, do the laundry, feed the kids........just like when we were dating.

So, what will it be?