Concur!

This is one of those stories that I've been meaning to write about for awhile. Back before Christmas Jake was trying to plug in his laptop but unfortunately the outlet is between the wall and the couch. It's sort of a pain to get to.

Jake: Whose idea was it to put the couch here!

Me: Probably mine.

Jake: Well, you shouldn't have done it!

Me: It may have been my idea but Daddy concurred.

Jake: Well don't ever concur with Mommy again!

Me: Oh yeah? If Daddy didn't concur with Mommy we wouldn't have this house. We wouldn't have....

Link: ....You.

Me: That's right.

Jake: Well don't do it anymore!

Me: So Jake, if Mommy were to go to Daddy and say "I think we should take the kids back to Niagara Falls." what should Daddy say?

Jake: Concur! Concur!!!

Jealousy...not depression

I realize I haven't posted since Wednesday but that's not because I've been in another downhill slide. In fact, I haven't felt this good in a long time. It has just been a crazy week.

Thursday night I went to a concert with my friend Tracy and my little sis Shani. We had a fantastic time but it was definitely a late night.

Friday I attended a 40th birthday party for Tanya (a wonderful woman who I met through Tracy) which was also a late night.

Saturday we had Link's family over for a birthday dinner. His mother's birthday is on the 20th so we usually celebrate the two of them together. That, again, was a late night although not nearly as late as Thursday and Friday.

Today was Link's actual birthday so I got up early to put in the egg bake that I had made last night and then the kids and I served Lincoln breakfast in bed. The best part of that was Jake asking why Mommy got breakfast in bed every weekend and Daddy only got breakfast in bed on his birthday. I'm sure you're wondering why Link doesn't get breakfast in bed on Father's Day but that's because we're usually down on the Vineyard with a bunch of other families that weekend.

Now to the jealousy part.

One of my favorite shows of all time is the Amazing Race. It is currently in its 17th season and I have watched every single one of them. As much as I would love, love, LOVE to be on the Amazing Race at any point in time, there are only two times that have been absolutely green with envy over what they get to do on the show.

The first was when they got to go on an African safari and feed raw meat to the lions. That is an absolute dream of mine. As in, if I get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow we are maxing out every credit card we have and going to Africa so that I can feed raw meat to the lions.

The second time was tonight. The teams had to go to Sweden and race a pack of sled dogs. I would love to do that. They seemed like they were having so much fun. I could pass on the time they had to run a mile or so in their underwear in Russia, I could pass on eating the live octopus that stuck it's tentacles to their tongue as they tried to swallow, but man oh man, I would give anything to have done those two challenges.

So, the moral of the story is.....

Not depressed, just busy and enjoying life again (thank God, Buddha, Allah & Vishnu!)

And I'm very, very, very jealous of feeding raw meat to wild lions and forcing sled dogs to drag me through the Swedish country side.

Coast to Coast

I know that technically we've been separated by an entire continent from Hannah ever since she left, but it hit me tonight while both kids are off on vacation without us, that they are literally spread out coast to coast. Hannah is in Washington State. Jake is in Maine. They couldn't possibly be any more spread out then they are.

Lincoln and I have enjoyed a very lovely, very peaceful weekend without the kids and the only question we have is, "When can both kids start going to Seattle for the summer!?!"

Our little independent traveler

Here is Hannah this morning getting ready to get on her flight to Seattle. This is the first time that she has flown by herself and she absolutely loved it. She was so ready for this and so excited to be doing it. It was a long few hours for Mommy but now I know she's safely on the ground and in Grandma and Grandpa's custody. I know she's going to have a great four weeks out in Seattle.

Maine

Last weekend we went up to Maine to stay at the campground seasonal that Link's brother and sister-in-law own. The kids and I went up with Diane and her sister Donna (who has the seasonal next door) on Friday night. When we got up there we unpacked and then headed out for dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. Hannah absolutely loved it and mastered chopsticks almost instantly. Jake struggled a little bit but once he started spearing them he was fine. He did, however, fall asleep at the restaurant because it was pretty late.

Saturday morning was incredibly sunny and almost unbearably hot. We say out in front of the trailers and just hung out for most of the morning. High tide was in the middle of the day so we couldn't go the beach. Instead we filled up the kiddie pool that Diane and Donna keep for the dogs and let the kids hang out in there. By the time the tide had gone down it was too cloudy to go to the beach so we just hung out back at the trailer.

Kayla, Hannah, and Jake explored the campground and went down to the playground and rec center. Hannah has her new cell phone so it was nice to be able to send them off with that and she would text us with constant updates. Once she discovered picture texting she'd even send us pictures of them playing to prove they were at the playground.

Saturday night Lincoln drove up to join us. We all headed out to dinner and had a wonderful time just kicking back that night.

Sunday we headed down to the beach after high tide. It was pretty much sunny the entire time with a few clouds here and there. The kids had an absolute blast at the beach and even I managed to get in the water and hang out for awhile. Considering how much I'm not a fan of the ocean this was a big deal. Hannah and Kayla hung out on an inner tube for hours just riding and waves and Jake ran back and forth in the waves like I've never seen him do before.

The entire trip made for an absolutely fantastic weekend and it was so nice to hang out not only as a family but with Diane, Kayla, and Donna as well before Hannah leaves for Seattle next week.

We really do live a pretty good life.

Maine - a photo essay

Detecting a pattern

Jake on the Vineyard:

Jake in Maine:

Martha's Vineyard - a photo essay

Martha's Vineyard

I haven't posted anything about our trip to the Vineyard yet because I wanted to post pictures and as much as I love this blog software, it's a pain in the butt to post pictures. So I'm going to at least get this written and then I'll start working on the pictures. I also need to post about our trip to Maine this past weekend.

Our trip to MV was fantastic. Shani and I headed down on Thursday with Tracy, Cliff, Hunter, and Hunter's friend Alex. It was very foggy when we left Cape Cod but by the time we got to the Vineyard the skies had cleared and it was beautiful and sunny. This was especially great since last year we had a mostly cold, rainy, miserable weekend.

Once we got the car unpacked Tracy, Shani and I headed down to East Chop Beach which is closest to the house. The boys and Cliff decided they wanted to stay back at the house so us three girls decided to have some grown-up time at the beach. It was very relaxing and a lot of fun although it resulted in a fairly bad sunburn on my back. Oh well, it was definitely worth it.

After the beach we went back to the house, got Cliff and the boys, and headed out to lunch. Later that day Cliff's daughter and her boyfriend joined us. We ordered pizza and sat around having a few beers and watching the Celtics lose to the Lakers in the NBA finals.

On Friday we all got up and headed over to the beach at Chappy. After we spent a few hours there Shani and I headed back to pick up Link and the kids from the ferry. That Friday was Hannah's last day of school and she had her talent show in the morning. She was doing a jump rope routine with two other girls and there was no way she could miss it. After she finished the talent show the three of them headed down to catch the ferry over to MV.

Friday night Shani stayed with the kids while the grown-ups went out for an "adult only" evening. We headed over to Edgartown and had cocktails at a nice place down on the water. After that we found a great little pub that served racks of beer. After a great dinner we headed back to the house.

On Saturday we had another great day and headed down to East Chop Beach again. Earlier in the morning we had walked down there with Leo and he loved to run around. That afternoon we took him with us to the beach (even though we weren't supposed to) but we couldn't let him run. He basically just curled up on my beach chair and took a nap. The kids had a great time playing in the waves and then we headed back to the house. Cliff's daughter and her boyfriend had left that day and that night Tracy, Cliff, and the boys went out to dinner and the rest of us hung back at the house and Lincoln cooked.

Sunday morning Lincoln and I took the kids and Leo down to the beach. This time we got down there a little earlier so we were able to stay down there for quite awhile before we were supposed to have the dog off the beach. Leo was having a blast and even loved jumping from rock to rock. Sunday ended up being cloudy and windy but it was still hot and humid - with no rain - so once again we headed out to the beach. This time we went to South Beach which is one I have never been to before. It has fantastic sand but the current out there is pretty intense. It was fun to watch the kids play in the waves but it was also a little nerve wracking. It's definitely not a place you can take your eyes off the kids for even a second.

Finally we headed back to the house, packed up and headed home again. This year's trip more than made up for last year's trip and as usual, I'm already looking forward to next year. MV is such a great place for a vacation and when you're there it's hard to believe that you're still in the state. It totally feels like a vacation that you had to travel a long ways to get there.

Hopefully I will get the pictures up soon but first I have to sift through the millions of pictures that I took and pick out my favorites.

Going off the grid again

And now we're off to Maine. Or to be more exact, the kids and I are heading to Maine. Lincoln is staying here to do some work around the house. Two weeks ago when the kids and I were in Iowa he made himself a big long list of things to do outside and then it rained the entire weekend. So this is his second chance. Hopefully the weather will be good this time.

I might be running from something....I'm just not sure

In the fairly recent past I've put up some posts regarding my battle with depression. I never expected to be one that suffered from depression. I have a fantastic life. I have a husband who loves me and worships the ground I walk on. I have two beautiful, wonderful, smart, healthy children that I adore. Lincoln and I have jobs that keeps the roof over our heads. What do I have to be depressed about?

I don't.

But I am.

After my physical exam back in April my general practitioner put me on an anti-depressant. It worked for a little bit and then came "the episode".

I don't know how else to refer to this situation. Every day when I got in my car to go to work I would burst into tears and cry the whole way in to the office. I could usually hold it together through the day but I never felt good. I never felt like me.

And then came "the episode".

That day I got in my car and drove to work - crying - and my mother called. She asked me how I was and I started to cry some more. Then I got to the office and realized I had missed a due date on one of our personal bills and started crying again. Then my boss - my wonderful, understanding, great boss - walked into my office and asked me how I was and I started crying. I told him I would talk to him later. After another conversation - including tears- with my friend Melissa I went into my boss's office and told him I needed to take some time off. I was a horrible, sobbing, humiliated, mess but he was incredibly understanding. After explaining the situation - again in tears - to my assistant I then proceeded to drive home talking to my dad. Yes, you guessed it, in tears. I don't think I've ever cried that much in my life.

Since then I have had my medicine doubled - and then tripled - and I'm feeling better. My boss called in some favors and hooked me up with an incredible psychiatrist associated with Harvard and I have been seeing him for the past few weeks. It really has done me a world of good but I still have good days and bad days.

In the past three weeks I have traveled to Iowa, Martha's Vineyard, and - this coming weekend - Maine. Why?

I love to travel. That's no secret. But what is with my current inability to stay home? I love being home. I'm more relaxed when I'm at home. When I can take time off of work I definitely have better days.

So why?

I think my love of travel has always allowed me to step outside of my own world. It allows me to experience new things and new places and new adventures. When I travel I'm not tied to work or home or life commitments. It's a choice. I travel because I love it. I think it's the only time I actually feel in control.

This battle continues to rage inside my brain. I can't explain it. I don't understand. As I've stated above, I'm the first to admit I have a wonderful, wonderful life. It just goes to show that depression is not a situational thing, but a chemical imbalance.

I appreciate all the love and support that I've received from many of you. I don't understand what is going on in my head these days but I know with the love of all of you - and the professional guidance of Dr. Romansky - I will eventually come out the other side.

Thank you.

And in the meantime, feel free to forward me any travel deals you find!

Back home......again

We returned from our annual Martha's Vineyard trip last night. It was a fantastic trip and we had absolutely beautiful weather. I have lots of pictures to post later. We also discovered this weekend that Leo is absolutely a beach dog. While he wasn't too keen on the waves he didn't mind going in the water of the little tide pool. And he absolutely loved running up and down on the beach.

And we're off......again

Tomorrow is the start of our annual Martha's Vineyard trip. We're going off the grid until at least Monday.

My little travelers

Jake and Hannah continue to amaze me with how well they travel.

This past weekend the kids and I flew to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to attend my aunt's Golden Jubilee (50 years as a nun). We had a big party on Saturday night for Sister Bonnie and a majority of the family was able to make it back for either the dinner on Saturday and/or the Mass on Sunday.

The kids and I left very early Friday morning on a 6 a.m. flight out of Boston. I was worried about Jake's tendency to throw up when we travel before noon. This time I was prepared though and made him eat ginger snap cookies on the way to the airport, take Dramamine when we got there, and then wear Sea Band bracelets while we were on the flight. I don't know which one worked the best but he didn't throw up and for that I was very grateful.

We got back Sunday night and now we have a quick turn around time for laundry, grocery shopping, etc. before we turn around and head out for our annual trip to Martha's Vineyard. It's a busy month. I think we're going to need a vacation from our vacations!

This definitely makes the Top 10 list

Tuesday was very easily one of the Top 10 best days of my entire life up until this point. You've got the obvious ones...our wedding, the birth of our children.....and then there are those "best" days that are just regular days that somehow become extraordinary days. Tuesday was one of those days.

Monday night I was bummed out because I wasn't going to be able to see some friends of mine that I graduated high school with in Arkansas. I hadn't seen them in 15 years and it would have been nice to spend some time catching up. They were going to be in NYC on Tuesday and that is certainly within day trip distance so I was trying to figure out how to get down there for the day. I could drive but it's about a 4 hour trip and I knew I'd have trouble staying awake on the ride home late at night. I could take the train or the bus but that's pretty hard for a day trip since they each take so long. I could hop on a JetBlue flight but that would cost too much money and a lot of commuting time from the airport into the city. I had pretty much given up on it when it hit me, at 10:30 p.m. Monday night, that my little sister Shani is home from college and loves to go to NYC. I sent her a text to see if she wanted to drive down with me and she was ecstatic about the idea. I had an appointment early in the morning so I said I'd pick her up about 9 a.m. and we'd head down to the city to meet the guys for lunch.

When I was heading home after my appointment it was about 8:10 a.m. and it occurred to me that there was no reason - other than school, of course - that Hannah couldn't go with me. I called Link to make sure he was okay with it and he just reminded me "You better hurry. The bus comes in 5 minutes." I zipped over to his parents house - where Hannah catches the bus - and asked her what they were doing in school that day. She has been bummed out with school lately because according to her they're not learning anything new the rest of the year and only doing review at this point. I asked her if she wanted to go to NYC with Shani and me and of course she said yes.

When I asked her about this I was a little worried that Jake would want to go too and there was no way he'd be able to do a whole day down in NYC. It's a lot of walking and not that much fun for a 5-year old. (Although, to be honest, I first took Hannah when she was five but they're totally different people.) I should have known better though. I think he was more concerned that I might even suggest that he go with us then he was about being left behind because he was very concerned it would mess up his carefully planned routine that he has at Grandma and Grandpa's house three days a week.

After picking up Hannah we ran back over to our house and this is when the perfect day started. Hannah is truly my daughter. She is a little me. My "mini me" if you will. Within five minutes of getting to the house she had a backpack packed with water bottles, NYC guide books, activities for the car, her wallet, sunglasses and sunscreen. Yes, my daughter can switch gears and be packed and ready to go on a trip in under 5 minutes. She's amazing. She even looked over at me and noticed my slip-on sandals that I was wearing and said "Mommy, those aren't very sensible walking shoes for our trip." I just laughed and told her that I had my tennis shoes in my backpack.

We left the house, gassed up the car, and went to pick up Shani. The drive down to NYC was a ton of fun. For the first half of the trip Shani and I got a chance to catch up while Hannah read some books and just chilled out in the back seat. The second half of the trip we played the "Alphabet Game" in the car. Hannah started off a little slow because it takes her a little longer to scan billboards for words starting with each letter of the alphabet but she creamed us in the end. We actually ended up playing the game two more times that day. Once in Central Park and once on the subway.

We arrived in Manhattan around 1:30 and met up with the guys for lunch. It was a nice leisurely lunch and I got to catch up with the guys while Shani and Hannah entertained themselves. After lunch the guys were heading over to meet up with some other friends and then go to a baseball game so we said good-bye and headed out to explore the city a little bit before meeting up with another friend of mine for dinner. Maria and I used to work together (her in the NYC office and me in the Boston office) and we try to hook up whenever I'm in the city. I emailed her that morning and asked if she was free to meet us for dinner. Luckily she was.

It was a gorgeous day and the weather was perfect. Since we were pretty close to Central Park after lunch we decided to walk around in there. Shani had never been to Central Park and since she's a huge film freak she wanted to find some of the most used sites in Central Park that are seen in movies and Hannah wanted to go to the Central Park Zoo. We wandered around and eventually made our way over to the zoo. Unfortunately it was 15 minutes before closing time so we didn't get to go in but we decided to just keep walking through the park. Shani wanted to find Bow Bridge which is one of the most common film sites. Eventually we came across the Central Park Boat House (also seen in a number of movies) and there were a number of people out rowing on the lake. I figured it would be too expensive for us to do but it was actually only $12 for all three of us to rent a boat for an hour. Well, you couldn't beat that for price. Especially in Manhattan! The three of us climbed in the row boat and rowed around the lake for about 40 minutes. I started out doing the rowing and it was hilarious. I haven't rowed a boat in YEARS with the exception of some kayaking Lincoln and I did a few years back. It took me awhile to get the hang of it and get us out of the dock area but eventually I got it under control. Hannah wanted to give it a try so she moved over to sit next to me and do the right oar while I did the left one. Once she had that mastered she wanted to take over completely. I moved back a seat and let her take charge. She was amazing! She mastered that boat in no time and had us cruising all over the lake. It was such a gorgeous day and there were a lot of people on the lake so she had to maneuver us around other boats which is much harder than it sounds since so many of the people out on the water are novices. We had a few near misses but so did everyone else on the lake.

After about 40 minutes we had to head back to the dock because we were meeting Maria for dinner at 6:30 down in Little Italy. We walked out of the park, grabbed a cab, and headed out for dinner. The restaurant was one that Maria had taken me to years ago and I had always wanted to go back to. I was a little worried because it wasn't the type of place that would have a kids menu but Hannah adjusted pretty well. She didn't really like the food but she found enough to eat to fill her up and she never complained. She did however practically eat an entire loaf of Italian bread by herself. I'm glad she loved the stuff but I was about ready to Google "can you die of a bread overdose" on my phone.

We finished dinner a little later than we had hoped considering we had a 4 hour drive back to Upton but we stopped at a few souvenir shops anyway down in Little Italy before hopping on the subway and heading back to where we had parked our car. We had parked in an area known as Hell's Kitchen, which is near Times Square, and hit a few more souvenir shops there since Hannah hadn't found anything she wanted to buy down in Little Italy. She finally found a t-shirt that she bought herself and then we got in the car and headed home. We had to drive through Times Square on our way out of town and that was the only time we were there all day but that was okay since that's where we usually start our journey. We're very familiar with Times Square.

The drive home was fairly uneventful but there was an amazing amount of late night construction traffic coming through Connecticut. Hannah slept the entire way home and Shani did a good job of keeping me awake. We got home about 1:30 a.m. and all immediately crashed. Shani spent the night and Link took her home the next morning.

So, as you can see, it wasn't that "special" of a day but it was one of the most extraordinary days of my life. Hannah was so amazing and so adaptable. Even when we were just sitting by the fountain at Columbus Circle she was perfectly content just to be in NYC. She made me laugh and it was great spending such a nice day down in NYC with her and Shani. I got to see friends that I haven't seen in 15 years and I got to spend an incredibly pleasant time just floating around a Central Park lake in the warm sun, taking in the beautiful scenery with Hannah and Shani. It was just a great day. Considering the overwhelming number of bad days that I've had lately, this was just a gift. A really, really great gift.