Oh good God

Today I have spent the day going through resumes to replace Jennifer, my darling, wonderful, perfect Receptionist who is leaving me to move to California at the end of August.

Here are some of the highlights from the resumes I've received so far today (almost 40 in 4 hours):

• A stunt fighter
• A co-star in the movies Sausage Castle Annual Halloween Party and Johnny's Filling Station.
• A candidate who graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelor's degree in History and Political Science and also holds a law degree and a Master's degree -- all from prestigious schools.
• A marine trained in Water Combat
• A person who worked as a "Customer Service Agent" at Chili's (i.e. handled to-go orders)
• A person who says she "hopes to here for you soon" (translation: hopes to hear from me soon)
• A person who listed her college degrees but actually asterisked on her high school info that she received her diploma. (Well, duh...if you went to college you must have graduated high school.)
• A person who listed what classes she took in college (Japanese Print Blocking!) and pointed out she pursued "general studies" in high school.

And as I sit here typing this about 15 more resumes have come into my mailbox. This is going to be a crazy week.