Coming back into the light

Recently I have felt like there has been a heavy, oppressive, dark....."thing".....weighing me down. I have been struggling with some depression and have just felt completely overwhelmed with work, life, and responsibilities. I can normally cope with stress pretty well but this was just something I couldn't shake. I couldn't articulate how I felt and I didn't even know how to ask for help or what to ask for. Luckily I have a wonderful husband who has stood by me through all my craziness and was always ready to step in if I had a breakdown. I also have an incredibly wonderful friend in Rachel who surprised me by sending me a spa certificate to cheer me up and help me relax. I really couldn't ask for better family or friends.

Things are still a little crazy around here but for the first time in months I finally feel like I'm coming out of the darkness. Things are under control at work and I feel like I have a better handle on things there. Lincoln and I have also finally started to move forward and make progress with the new garage. My responsibilities for the PTO are starting to gear up but I'm not in panic mode yet.

I've been very lucky in the fact that I've been able to work from home quite a bit while my boss was on vacation a few weeks ago and then to work from home last week when the kids were sick. Taking the long commute and the constant interruptions out of my day really help to keep me relaxed and less stressed out. My assistant is fantastic and has been picking up an unbelievable amount of slack for me as well. Unfortunately I was sick too, which didn't help, but I'm feeling much better. Since the middle of February I've also cut out soda, alcohol, and junk food and I'm feeling much better physically. My joints are hurting less with less stress and I'm starting to sleep better without all the crazy, wacky dreams that were keeping me tossing and turning at night.

I don't know what caused my recent depression and I don't know what I did, specifically, to start climbing my way out of it, but I know that I'm working my way back to my normal self. The last few months were scary for me and were definitely worse than any mild bouts of depression or self doubt that I've had in the past. I can't imagine what people that suffer from severe depression go through and I wasn't even at the point yet where I needed medication - although I seriously thought about going to see a doctor during my darkest weeks.

I know there are people out there in the world that have far more serious problems then me. I'm very lucky to have a job, a wonderful family, two beautiful kids, a roof over my head, and no serious major issues that Lincoln and I can't conquer if we work together but it was scary. It was dark and overwhelming and I felt like that heavy cloud of depression was slowly smothering me. I hope this is the end of it and that nothing like this ever happens again but I know that if it does I have a wonderful family and group of friends to support me.

I love you all.