Goals, Regrets, and Reality

My friend Stephanie always tells me how impressed she is that I accomplish everything that I set out to accomplish. For some reason that always strikes me a little funny because to me, the things that I've accomplished are fairly basic although I'm no less proud of having accomplished them.

Back when I was in high school I read that if you write your goals down you are more likely to achieve them. I'm sure this is something I read in one of my teen magazines that I was addicted to back then. Anyway, somewhere still floating around my house is a light purple sheet of loose leaf paper with my "goals" that I wanted to accomplish in life. When I write myself up a "to do" list these days I usually toss on a few things I've already done or things that will be done quickly so that I can have the sense of accomplishment when I cross them off. Similarly, my goals list had a few "givens" on it that were never in danger of not being accomplished. I think #1 on the list was "graduate from high school". Some of the other items on the list included "Go to Gustavus", "move to Boston", "get married", and "have kids". Obviously I accomplished all of those. I honestly could not tell you what other goals were on there or if I accomplished them or not. The next time that purple piece of paper turns up in some random box in my house I will let you know.

I don't have many regrets in my life. Sure there are little things here and there that I wish I hadn't done or hadn't said. There are small things that I would change here or there but I've been blessed with a really great life and I couldn't be happier (unless all of a sudden we became millionaires...that would be nice).

I got married very young for this day and age. I met Lincoln right before my 22nd birthday and we were married when I was 23. Hannah was born six days after I turned 24 and Jake came along when I was 27. Many of my friends and colleagues who are the same age as me were barely starting to think about getting married and having kids by the time I was done having my family. Many of the parents that I work with in the PTO, who have children the same age as mine, are much older than me. Under no circumstances do I regret getting married or having my children at such a young age. I firmly believe I'd rather have them young and then (hopefully) be young enough and successful enough at that point in my life to be able to travel and see the world in a way that I never could have with my limited budget in my 20's.

But there are a few things I wish I had put on that list.

I wish I had lived in New York City. I could never live there for long but I wish I had spent a summer there. Three months would have been good.

I wish that I had moved to London after college. I toyed with the idea when I was a senior in college and I probably would have given it more thought if I hadn't had Boston as an option but I really wish I had explored it more. The job I got when I moved to Boston (one criteria for moving to any city: have a job lined up first!) was at a sister company of where I worked in college. They also had companies in England so I totally could have explored that option.

I wish that I had studied abroad. I did a three-week study abroad class called "Theater in and around London" when I was a sophomore in college and I loved it. I really wish that I had done a semester (or a year) somewhere. Many of my friends did this during college and I know it was one of the best experiences of their lives. I was seriously looking into studying in Greece during my senior year at Gustavus but after the tornado hit St. Peter and I had to buy a new car it just sort of fell to the wayside. Now having spent some time in Greece I really wish I had done it because I loved the country, the people, and the food. I would have loved living there for a few months.

For some reason I've been thinking about this a lot lately, partially due to Revolutionary Road which is about a family wanting to move to Paris, and then earlier this week I got the latest edition of The Gustavus Quarterly alumni magazine which has a cover story on studying abroad. There were all sorts of stories in there about students who have studied in exciting places and it sort of bums me out. I really wish I had been able to do that. And more importantly, I hope my kids get to that and that they want to do it. What a fabulous opportunity.In the end it's a good thing that I didn't do any of those things because if I had I would never have met Lincoln and had Hannah and Jake so ultimately I'm happy that I never did those things that I wanted to do. And who knows.....I'll only be 45 when Jake goes off to college so that leaves plenty of time in my life to move to London for six months. Right Lincoln?