How to lose a job before you even start

I recently interviewed a kid for the Runner position and I really liked him.  I offered him the job and he came in to do his paperwork two weeks ago today.  I asked him to send me his availability for training as soon as possible since I needed him trained before May 14th and he said he would send it to me the next day (May 6th).  I finally heard back from him today (!!!) with the excuse of "sorry, I've been busy" and "perhaps we can work something out to get the whole thing moving." 

My response will be something along the lines of "thanks but are you fucking kidding me?"  

I'll just say it a little more professionally than that.