It's Derby Party Day!!!

Today is one of my favorite days of the year....it's Derby Party Day! Every year we host a party for the Kentucky Derby with our good friends, the Walker's. Last year was the first year I ever missed the party because I was out in Seattle surprising my parents for their 40th wedding anniversary so it has been two years since I've been to the Derby Party and that time it was a rainy, cloudy day. Today is supposed to be mostly sunny with a few high clouds and temps in the upper 70s. A perfect day for an outdoor party.

Since the party is at our house I suppose I should stop typing and start getting the party set up.

Self-imposed Rules

I started writing this blog almost 2 years ago. Originally I started doing it as a way for my family and friends to keep up with what is going on with us and all that the kids do. It quickly became more than that because I've discovered it's a great way to chronicle the kids' lives and I think it will make a great keepsake for them someday (if I ever get around to having it printed and bound into a book). It has also been incredibly therapeutic at times to write about what is on my mind. In general, I've really enjoyed writing this blog and I'm glad I started it.

But I do have a few self-imposed rules about what I'll write.

• I won't write anything that I wouldn't be willing to repeat to any family, friend or stranger. If I'm not willing to have it on the 5 o'clock news, I won't write it.
• I won't write about personal things that are going on in the lives of my family and friends unless they give me permission. Everything I write on here has to do with me, my thoughts, my opinions, and my immediate family only.
• I won't post pictures of other people's kids without their permission. I generally don't post pictures of anyone outside of me, Link, and the kids but every now and then I will if the person is okay with it.
• I won't talk badly about other people unless I've already expressed it to them directly - or am willing to express it to them directly.
• I don't talk about other people's kids except, occasionally, in passing. I would never write anything rude about another person's kid although, to be honest, that limits a lot of what I could write about.
• I won't vent about an issue - political, social, or otherwise - unless it's one that I'm willing to debate with anyone who wants to talk to me about it.
• And I don't talk about my middle sister because I honestly believe her jackass husband would likely sue me if I did. That was the first - and last - time I'll even come remotely close to mentioning her.

And that's it. I don't regret that the principal found out about my blog. I don't regret that obviously some parent out there has way too much time on their hands and wants to stir up trouble by sending the link to the principal. I'm more than willing to stand by what I write and I'm comfortable with what I'm willing to make public so I think I'm doing just fine.

I'm nothing if not honest

Yesterday morning I wrote a post about my meeting with the school principal. It was honest - brutally so - but nothing I wouldn't say directly to her face. When we met last month I told her that I thought she was doing a terrible job and that if it was up to me she wouldn't have a job next year. I also listed for her, by month, everything I thought she had done poorly since she started the job. I've never hidden my feelings from her.

But apparently some parent - who probably doesn't know me well and doesn't realize that I have said all this to her face - sent the principal a link to my blog. When I got up this morning there was an email from the principal that read: "Interesting blog....silly me.....I honestly believed you wanted to work together. I apologize for wasting your time."

Silly lady.

I won't cut and paste the entire email exchange that followed but here are the high points of what I told her:

• I never say anything here on the blog that I wouldn't say directly to the person I'm writing about.
• I've already told her that I think she has done a terrible job.
• I also said that I thought the meeting did go well until the end.
• I told her that I never said I didn't want to work with her, only that I wasn't going to let her steam roll over me like she did in October when she wanted stuff from the PTO.
• Finally, I told her that she can either continue to follow me on my blog or wait for whichever parent sent her the link to keep her updated. Or she could call me.

She wrote me back saying that she hadn't done it deliberately and it was an honest question as a result of me telling her Hannah was reading at a 3rd grade level in kindergarten.

It may have been. Who knows?

So I wrote back and told her that if that was the case I apologize but given her history over the past school year, she could probably see why I would be suspicious of her actions. I also told her that I can still work with someone I don't like and that I will probably continue not to trust her until she has earned that trust. I told her that I had given her the benefit of the doubt in the fact that I assumed some parent emailed her the link and not that she was Googling me. Then I asked when she wanted to get together for the meeting to show she was serious about working on a differentiated/gifted program for the school.

To which she sent - in my opinion, and only my opinion - a somewhat snotty (but obviously frustrated) response and ignored the request for a serious meeting about the topic.

So, to the parent that obviously reads this blog and sent her the link, feel free to let her know that I still don't like her, I still think she has done a bad job to date, and that I will still work with her on both improving school/parent communication and a differentiated/gifted program if she's serious about working on them as well.

Oh wait, I already told her all that myself.

I thought most boys wanted to grow up to be a fireman?

Jake: Mommy, why don't grown ups like it when you want to be a villain?

If she only knew what she unleashed.....

Yesterday morning I met with the school principal. I have not made it a secret - most of all from her - that I think she has done a terrible job this year. This is only her first year at our school but man, this lady stinks as a principal. Last month the two of us got into it because she thought I didn't have enough respect for her and her position and I thought she was a sucky principal who works for the taxpayers and therefore should answer to the taxpayers.

It was a delightful conversation.

Anyhoo, since that "pull no punches" meeting she has actually been bending over backwards to get on my good side. One of the things I think she has failed miserably at this year is communication with the parents. She had the school go cold turkey switching over to paperless communication with the parents without having a good, effective paperless system in place and she wasn't willing to explore any other options or compromises. It was a nightmare. She knew that was a subject that I felt strongly about so she's been soliciting my opinions on how to make it better.

Yesterday was the meeting about communication and it was a very good meeting. We talked about different ideas of how we could improve the communication between the parents and the school while still staying with a paperless system. For the first time I thought I was going to walk out of a meeting with her without wanting to find the nearest bucket of tar and pail of feathers. (Yes, that's how much I dislike this woman.)

But then, five minutes before the end of that meeting, she hit me with a whammy.

My weak spot.

Hannah's intelligence.

She's a sneaky one. At the very last minute, knowing I had to leave at exactly 8:30 a.m. to make it to a doctor's appointment in Franklin, she threw out this little tidbit.

Mrs. S: "So, this is off topic but I wanted to get your thoughts on how the school is doing providing for kids who may be more advanced or need to be challenged more."

WTF?

That has been an issue of mine since Hannah was in kindergarten! The school spends millions of dollars each year - by state mandate - on the Special Education program but doesn't spend a single dime on a talented and gifted program. The previous principal would barely even let teachers break the kids into reading groups for those that are more advanced then others because it wasn't politically correct anymore to label kids as "average, advanced, or needs extra assistance".

So basically this principal was dangling my greatest dream for school change right in front of me. I think she had done a little extra research on me - not to mention I told her in our last contentious meeting how I felt about the SpEd funding - and decided to throw out that little tidbit to appease me. To make me think she's "on my side". But what she doesn't know about me is that once you give me an inch, I'll take a mile and a half!

She threw out that little nugget at the last minute so my response was:

Me: "We definitely don't have time for this now but I'd love to get together for another discussion soon. The short answer is: horrible. The school does a horrible job for those students. And here are a list of other parents that feel the same way. We'll be in touch for a meeting."

I think that surprised her so she started back-pedaling a little and said that it would be a great goal for us to work through next year in order to get something implemented the following year.

Me: "That's great but it won't help Hannah any. Now that you're open to this idea let's get a committee together this spring and summer to have something in place by the fall."

The look of fear in her eyes was priceless.

She obviously still doesn't know me very well.

Who really needs a kitchen? We all know that I don't

As we're finalizing all the numbers for our garage/apartment project it's looking like we'll be able to do everything but put in the kitchen cabinets, counter tops, and appliances. Well, actually we could probably afford the appliances but not the cabinets and counter tops. Oh yeah, or furniture.

But this post isn't about furniture. It's about the kitchen. You know, that room I don't use.

Basically what this all means is that the apartment will be functioning as a place for guests to sleep and shower - if we solve that pesky lack of furniture problem - but our guests won't be able to show their undying love and gratitude for the wonderful place we built them by cooking us a 4-course meal.

Damn.

I REALLY hate doing laundry

Years ago, when Lincoln and I lived in our 3rd floor condo, I promised him that if he did the laundry there I would always do the laundry once we moved into our house.

Obviously I lied.

I hate doing laundry. I don't mind the easy loads like towels and underwear but I really hate the loads where, you know, you have to hang stuff up. That sucks.

Well all day today Lincoln has been slaving away outside. He has either been running errands picking up supplies for the garage or he has been mowing the lawn and cleaning up outside for the Derby party next weekend. So that left me to do this week's laundry. It was the least I could do considering that between loads, while he was outside, I was watching Chelsea Lately and drinking wine.

But then he was done.

And we were all inside.

And the buzzer for the laundry went off upstairs.

Me: Honey, I need you to take over the laundry now.

Link: Why?

Me: BECAUSE I HATE DOING LAUNDRY!

And so he did.

Which is why our marriage works so damn well.