Wednesday, June 30, 2010

SEE!!!! They're dangerous

Last November I finally came to terms with my fear of hardwood floors. When I was in 3rd grade my friend Rachel and I were playing at her house, I slipped on the hardwood floor, and broke my finger. Back in the fall we put in hardwood laminate in our office. Now technically it's not hardwood but it still freaks me out a bit. AS IT SHOULD!!!! Check out what happened to me last night. I was walking across the floor in the office, slipped, and came down really hard on the open drawer of my desk. Check out this bruise.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Mother Nature has some competition

Me: Hannah, never turn your back on the ocean.

Hannah: Why?

Me: You never know what she might do.

Hannah: How do you know it's a woman?

Me: Because Mother Nature is a woman.

Hannah: But Poseidon isn't.

Me: The God of the Sea?

Hannah: Yeah.

Me: Wow. That's an excellent point.

Detecting a pattern

Jake on the Vineyard:

Jake in Maine:

Martha's Vineyard - a photo essay















Leo on the Vineyard - a photo essay









Martha's Vineyard

I haven't posted anything about our trip to the Vineyard yet because I wanted to post pictures and as much as I love this blog software, it's a pain in the butt to post pictures. So I'm going to at least get this written and then I'll start working on the pictures. I also need to post about our trip to Maine this past weekend.

Our trip to MV was fantastic. Shani and I headed down on Thursday with Tracy, Cliff, Hunter, and Hunter's friend Alex. It was very foggy when we left Cape Cod but by the time we got to the Vineyard the skies had cleared and it was beautiful and sunny. This was especially great since last year we had a mostly cold, rainy, miserable weekend.

Once we got the car unpacked Tracy, Shani and I headed down to East Chop Beach which is closest to the house. The boys and Cliff decided they wanted to stay back at the house so us three girls decided to have some grown-up time at the beach. It was very relaxing and a lot of fun although it resulted in a fairly bad sunburn on my back. Oh well, it was definitely worth it.

After the beach we went back to the house, got Cliff and the boys, and headed out to lunch. Later that day Cliff's daughter and her boyfriend joined us. We ordered pizza and sat around having a few beers and watching the Celtics lose to the Lakers in the NBA finals.

On Friday we all got up and headed over to the beach at Chappy. After we spent a few hours there Shani and I headed back to pick up Link and the kids from the ferry. That Friday was Hannah's last day of school and she had her talent show in the morning. She was doing a jump rope routine with two other girls and there was no way she could miss it. After she finished the talent show the three of them headed down to catch the ferry over to MV.

Friday night Shani stayed with the kids while the grown-ups went out for an "adult only" evening. We headed over to Edgartown and had cocktails at a nice place down on the water. After that we found a great little pub that served racks of beer. After a great dinner we headed back to the house.

On Saturday we had another great day and headed down to East Chop Beach again. Earlier in the morning we had walked down there with Leo and he loved to run around. That afternoon we took him with us to the beach (even though we weren't supposed to) but we couldn't let him run. He basically just curled up on my beach chair and took a nap. The kids had a great time playing in the waves and then we headed back to the house. Cliff's daughter and her boyfriend had left that day and that night Tracy, Cliff, and the boys went out to dinner and the rest of us hung back at the house and Lincoln cooked.

Sunday morning Lincoln and I took the kids and Leo down to the beach. This time we got down there a little earlier so we were able to stay down there for quite awhile before we were supposed to have the dog off the beach. Leo was having a blast and even loved jumping from rock to rock. Sunday ended up being cloudy and windy but it was still hot and humid - with no rain - so once again we headed out to the beach. This time we went to South Beach which is one I have never been to before. It has fantastic sand but the current out there is pretty intense. It was fun to watch the kids play in the waves but it was also a little nerve wracking. It's definitely not a place you can take your eyes off the kids for even a second.

Finally we headed back to the house, packed up and headed home again. This year's trip more than made up for last year's trip and as usual, I'm already looking forward to next year. MV is such a great place for a vacation and when you're there it's hard to believe that you're still in the state. It totally feels like a vacation that you had to travel a long ways to get there.

Hopefully I will get the pictures up soon but first I have to sift through the millions of pictures that I took and pick out my favorites.

The worst part

The worst part about my struggle with depression is when it directly affects my kids. When I'm in such a dark place that I snap at them for no reason or when they ask me to do something with them and I say no because of the mood that I'm in. It sucks for them and that is totally not fair. I hate this.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Going off the grid again

And now we're off to Maine. Or to be more exact, the kids and I are heading to Maine. Lincoln is staying here to do some work around the house. Two weeks ago when the kids and I were in Iowa he made himself a big long list of things to do outside and then it rained the entire weekend. So this is his second chance. Hopefully the weather will be good this time.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Some of my favorite Jakey quotes lately

Jake has been full of some good quotes lately.

The first one was down on the Vineyard. We were getting ready to leave and he was hiding something behind his back.

Link: Jake, what do you have behind your back?

Jake: Ummm....nothing. This is just my natural pose.

The funny thing is I can't even remember what he was hiding because we were laughing so hard.

And then the other night Diane and Kayla were down here. The kids were swimming in the pool and Diane, Link, and I were watching the kids. I don't remember what startled Jake so much.

Jake: That scared the hell out of me!

Me: Jake, don't say that.

Jake (very seriously): I'm sorry. I just got carried way.

I have been blessed with not one, but TWO, incredible families

I moved to Massachusetts 11 years ago this August. When I decided to move out here I didn't know a soul except for the fact that my 10th grade yearbook advisor from Arkansas had moved here. I looked her up - never knowing if they even still lived in Massachusetts - and not only did she remember me but they invited me to come stay with them.

My senior year of college I came out here for spring break to look for a place to live. When I moved out here the following June I lived in their basement for 2 months while I waited to get into my condo. Their daughters took part in our wedding and Deb and Michael threw us a wonderful post-wedding brunch the day after our wedding.

Their daughters - Shani and Kristen - have become my little sisters. They have become my "East Coast" family. They have become another set of grandparents to my children. I am so blessed to have them in my life.

But it never hit me just how included we have been in their family until last night. I've always felt loved and included but this was different. We co-host the Derby party with them every year and they introduce me as their daughter. We've always been tight and have taken part in family events. Like I said, they played a big part in our wedding - not only by throwing us a brunch but also acting as "host and hostess" at the wedding.

Last night was Michael's retirement party. He is retiring from his position here in Massachusetts and has accepted a new job in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The party was put on by the people he works with. It was a great evening.

The evening was to be for co-workers and his family. It didn't surprise me that they had us added to the guest list but it did sort of surprise me that we were at the head table. That's right. The table of honor. It blew me away. Lincoln and I sat there with Deb and Michael, Shani, and Michael's wonderful children from his previous marriage. (Kristen was out of town on a previously planned graduation trip.) I have never felt so honored.

I have loved and respected and cherished them for so many years but I have never felt so loved and cherished as I did last night.

I am proud to be part of that family and I can't thank them enough for letting me - and my husband and children - into to their lives all of these years.

I might be running from something....I'm just not sure

In the fairly recent past I've put up some posts regarding my battle with depression. I never expected to be one that suffered from depression. I have a fantastic life. I have a husband who loves me and worships the ground I walk on. I have two beautiful, wonderful, smart, healthy children that I adore. Lincoln and I have jobs that keeps the roof over our heads. What do I have to be depressed about?

I don't.

But I am.

After my physical exam back in April my general practitioner put me on an anti-depressant. It worked for a little bit and then came "the episode".

I don't know how else to refer to this situation. Every day when I got in my car to go to work I would burst into tears and cry the whole way in to the office. I could usually hold it together through the day but I never felt good. I never felt like me.

And then came "the episode".

That day I got in my car and drove to work - crying - and my mother called. She asked me how I was and I started to cry some more. Then I got to the office and realized I had missed a due date on one of our personal bills and started crying again. Then my boss - my wonderful, understanding, great boss - walked into my office and asked me how I was and I started crying. I told him I would talk to him later. After another conversation - including tears- with my friend Melissa I went into my boss's office and told him I needed to take some time off. I was a horrible, sobbing, humiliated, mess but he was incredibly understanding. After explaining the situation - again in tears - to my assistant I then proceeded to drive home talking to my dad. Yes, you guessed it, in tears. I don't think I've ever cried that much in my life.

Since then I have had my medicine doubled - and then tripled - and I'm feeling better. My boss called in some favors and hooked me up with an incredible psychiatrist associated with Harvard and I have been seeing him for the past few weeks. It really has done me a world of good but I still have good days and bad days.

In the past three weeks I have traveled to Iowa, Martha's Vineyard, and - this coming weekend - Maine. Why?

I love to travel. That's no secret. But what is with my current inability to stay home? I love being home. I'm more relaxed when I'm at home. When I can take time off of work I definitely have better days.

So why?

I think my love of travel has always allowed me to step outside of my own world. It allows me to experience new things and new places and new adventures. When I travel I'm not tied to work or home or life commitments. It's a choice. I travel because I love it. I think it's the only time I actually feel in control.

This battle continues to rage inside my brain. I can't explain it. I don't understand. As I've stated above, I'm the first to admit I have a wonderful, wonderful life. It just goes to show that depression is not a situational thing, but a chemical imbalance.

I appreciate all the love and support that I've received from many of you. I don't understand what is going on in my head these days but I know with the love of all of you - and the professional guidance of Dr. Romansky - I will eventually come out the other side.

Thank you.

And in the meantime, feel free to forward me any travel deals you find!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Back home......again

We returned from our annual Martha's Vineyard trip last night. It was a fantastic trip and we had absolutely beautiful weather. I have lots of pictures to post later. We also discovered this weekend that Leo is absolutely a beach dog. While he wasn't too keen on the waves he didn't mind going in the water of the little tide pool. And he absolutely loved running up and down on the beach.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

And we're off......again

Tomorrow is the start of our annual Martha's Vineyard trip. We're going off the grid until at least Monday.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Jake's first mugshot

Last Tuesday Lincoln and I took the kids to have their passport photos taken so that we could renew their passports. Jake's came out looking like a mugshot and I LOVE it. I particularly like the bruise under his eye (courtesy of his roughhousing with his cousin over the weekend).

Doesn't he look like he was in a bar brawl?

Spike

I finally cut off all of Jake's floppy, moppy baby hair. I didn't post any pictures last week because I wanted to surprise Mom and Dad this past weekend in Iowa.

So here is the official unveiling of Jake's new haircut!

My little travelers

Jake and Hannah continue to amaze me with how well they travel.

This past weekend the kids and I flew to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to attend my aunt's Golden Jubilee (50 years as a nun). We had a big party on Saturday night for Sister Bonnie and a majority of the family was able to make it back for either the dinner on Saturday and/or the Mass on Sunday.

The kids and I left very early Friday morning on a 6 a.m. flight out of Boston. I was worried about Jake's tendency to throw up when we travel before noon. This time I was prepared though and made him eat ginger snap cookies on the way to the airport, take Dramamine when we got there, and then wear Sea Band bracelets while we were on the flight. I don't know which one worked the best but he didn't throw up and for that I was very grateful.

We got back Sunday night and now we have a quick turn around time for laundry, grocery shopping, etc. before we turn around and head out for our annual trip to Martha's Vineyard. It's a busy month. I think we're going to need a vacation from our vacations!

Like brother, like brother, like brother

I continue to marvel at how much my Dad looks like two of his brothers. There was this incident in Albuquerque with Uncle John and now these pictures with Uncle Joe and Uncle John. On the flip side, Uncle Mike still has a full head of hair. That's why he's not allowed to be in pictures. (just kidding!)

Like Mother, Like Daughter

I firmly believe there is nothing better in this world then cold Mabe's pizza for breakfast. Obviously Hannah agrees.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I'll admit it, she made me laugh

As I've previously reported on here, I am very annoyed with Hannah's school lately for all the errors they send home. There was the technology newsletter with the seven typos and grammatical errors. There was the report card with the word "beginning" spelled wrong under the Writing category. There was the spelling test returned with a word spelled correctly but marked wrong and an incorrect spelling written in by the teacher. It's embarrassing. Additionally, I've also written about how unhappy I am with the new school principal this year.

Today Lincoln and I stopped by the school to view Hannah's Scrapbook Project. There is a presentation tomorrow but the kids and I will be on our way to Iowa so Link and I were able to go in a day early to look at Hannah's stuff. Today is also the day that the 2nd grade class does their Ellis Island Experience where they pretend like they're arriving at Ellis Island as an immigrant. It's actually a pretty neat thing that they do with the kids.

As Lincoln and I headed toward the main staircase at the school I noticed they had all the decorations up for the Ellis Island Experience. I also noticed that the sign above that same staircase (where they would be entering as immigrants) said "Stairsways to the Grand Hall". I turned to Hannah, who was walking in with us, and said "And they wonder why I don't think you're getting a quality education here."

When I got to work I emailed the principal the following message: Hey there. Just a heads up, for next year you might want to have the teachers print a sign that doesn't say "stairsways".

I will openly admit, her response made me laugh: Howdy,I don't suppose you'd buy into the idea that I put it there to see if you notice?! Kind of like a Where's Waldo....just a thought!

I mean seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

"I Am" by: Hannah Snow

I am sweet and kind
I wonder why the sky is blue
I hear a baby lion's roar
I see flowers blooming
I want to fly
I am sweet and kind

I pretend to live in Paris
I feel a butterfly's touch
I touch a unicorn's horn
I worry about my great-grandma
I cry for sad people
I am sweet and kind

I understand body language
I say love is real
I dream about living in the country
I try to do my best
I hope for the animals
I am sweet and kind

Monday, June 7, 2010

The family hierarchy

Jake: Mommy, which one wins? A Daddy "no" or a Mommy "yes"?

Me: What?

Jake: Who wins if Mommy says "yes" and Daddy says "no"?

Me: It depends.

Jake: Well Hannah is the boss of me. And Daddy is the boss of Hannah. And you're the boss of Daddy.

I guess he answered his own question.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Houdini

Tonight we had Kristen's graduation party at the bowling alley. Right as we left the house a major thunderstorm started. I felt terrible leaving Leo in his crate because he is terrified of thunder but I figured it would be better for him to be in his crate at the house then for him to be terrified in the back of our car.

We had a great night at Pinz and we all had fun bowling. After we finished bowling the "grown ups" went home (i.e. my East Coast parents and Deb's parents) and Link, Hannah, Jake and I played laser tag with Shani, Kristen, and Erika. What a blast! We had so much fun.

After laser tag we played in the arcade for awhile and when we got in the car at the end of the night Hannah informed me it was one of the best nights of her entire life. I have to say, I would agree. We really had a great time as a family and as an extended family. I really do love the Walkers as my own and we are so blessed to be a part of their family.

But I digress, this post started out about Houdini.

We had to leave Leo home in his crate by himself. By the time we got home I was very anxious to get in the house and let him out of his crate. Well guess who met me at the door? That's right, the individual who I thought was locked in a crate in another room. He did pretty good though. Other than tearing up some paper that was near his bed in the office he didn't really do anything to the house. Considering he's a 9-month old puppy I think we're pretty lucky.

But......we still obviously need to get a padlock for his crate.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Who took Jake? And what did they do with him?

Jake never plays a game he can't win. We've battled with him on the sportsmanship front so often that I thought we'd never get through to him. He HATES losing. That's what made this conversation between Jake and Hannah so unbelievable.

Hannah: Jake, you better practice your bowling.

Jake: Why?

Hannah: Because we're going bowling for Kristen's party tonight.

Jake (very matter of factly): I don't care if I lose. It's just about having fun.

(stunned silence)

Me: Woohoo! Way to go Jake!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Time flies

When I first met Kristen I was in the 10th grade, her mother was my teacher, and she was one year old.

Tonight I'm going to her high school graduation.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I've always told Jake if he became the middle child he'd become "the forgotten one". Apparently I was right.

Lincoln: Leo, I'm not going to listen to you ask me the same question every 30 seconds while I finish doing this. Just wait.

Me: Did you just call Jake "Leo"?

Lincoln: I don't know, did I?

Me: Yes, I believe so.

(a little while later - a different conversation)

Me: .....so then I told Leo he had to go to the bathroom before we left Grandma and Grandpa's house....

Lincoln: You just called him Leo.

Me: Oh crap. I did, didn't I?

Hmmmm

Yesterday I composed an entire blog posting in my head and said to myself "as soon as I get a chance I'll type that up." Well, now's that chance.

Too bad I can't remember what the subject was, much less the entire post.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The little rose bush that could

A few years ago I planted some rose bushes in front of the house. They are lined up along the entire front of the house with the same amount on each side of the front steps. I've never really done anything with them, especially after the first year or so, but they've done fairly well. Mom and Dad usually cut them back - usually with Jake's help - when they're here in the fall but after the 2nd summer I even stopped watering them on a regular basis. They've proven to be fairly hardy though. The reason I actually chose them was because they were advertised as being hard to kill.

Due to the way the sun comes over the house the right side of the front of the house gets way more sun than the left side. As a result the rose bush to the far right is the largest and they get progressively smaller as you look towards the left. The one on the farthest left side has been dubbed by Lincoln "The Little Rose Bush that Could".

Right side:
Last one on the left:

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Knee high by the 4th of July

If there is one thing I've heard a million times growing up in Iowa it's that the corn should be "knee high by the 4th of July". Of course, Jake's corn that he planted the other day is a little behind since, well, we didn't plant it when we should have.

This morning I went out to check Jake's garden and there was one lone sprout coming up out of the ground. I was surprised he even had that since it has only been 2 days. It's in the general area of where he planted the corn so I'm guessing that's what it is. (Did I mention I let the 5-year old lay out the garden anyway he wanted? There is no rhyme or reason to it and certainly no rows.)

Today is June 1st. We'll definitely hit Jake's knees before the 4th of July. Maybe even Hannah's knees. I'll keep you posted.